The Cutlet’s Magical Disney World Adventure – Part Two

If you missed my recap of day one, check it out here.

We had one goal for our second day at Disney: Meet Elsa and Anna.

The Frozen princesses have been holding court at Norway in the World Showcase section of Epcot, but apparently they are in high demand. We read reports that the lines to see them could take over two hours, and your best bet to minimize the wait was to get there right at the opening. So fifteen minutes before the park opened, we were standing in a crowd outside the gates.

The view from just outside the gates.

The view from just outside the gates.

Side rant: Am I the only one who liked it better when they called it EPCOT Center rather than just Epcot? They’ve dropped the whole “Center” from the name. Although they do sell retro T-shirts with the old name at the gift shop.

Once they opened the gates, I ran ahead of Mrs. Cutter and the Cutlet in hopes of getting a good spot in line. Okay, I actually skipped most of the way. I thought it was so cool to be in the park early in the morning which almost nobody else around.

When I arrived at Norway, the line didn’t appear too imposing. I figured I might have about an hour wait ahead of me. Imagine my surprise when a park employee told me the estimated wait from that point was two hours and 45 minutes.

Say what now?

I was stunned. How the heck could THAT many people have gotten there before me?

Apparently, people have found a way to beat the system. They book reservations for a restaurant in Epcot early in the morning, granting them early entry into the park. One member of the party then waits in line, while the others eat breakfast.

That’s a lot of effort to see a couple of girls dressed up like characters from a movie.

We had brunch reservations of at 11, so waiting in the line wasn’t an option. We bowed out and let the more dedicated parents try their luck. Thankfully, we were wise enough to not tell the Cutlet that there was a possibility of even meeting Elsa and Anna, so she didn’t know what she was missing.

Nobody wanted to see poor Figment. (Image source)

Nobody wanted to see poor Figment. (Image source)

With everyone in line at Norway, that left just about every other attraction in the park empty. We walked over to Journey into Imagination and there were only two other people on the ride with us. Afterwards, we headed into the ImageWorks playground area, and aside from us, it was completely empty. It was pretty darned cool having the complete run of the place.

Without long lines to contend with, we were able to see a few other attractions before we headed back to Norway for our brunch at Akershus restaurant. Why Akershus? Because they had character dining featuring princesses.

As groups entered the restaurant, they had their picture taken with Belle. Oddly, she didn’t seem to recognize the Cutlet from the day before, but she was quite intrigued by my Cuttered T-shirt (No, Mrs. Cutter was not wearing hers). We discussed it briefly, and surprisingly, it turns out that Belle is a Phillies fan.

Afterwards, we were seated, and about halfway through the meal, the Cutlet got to take part in the “princess procession.” The various princesses gather up the children and they walk around the restaurant together. Unfortunately, once this was over, the Cutlet didn’t know how to get back to our table, and there were a few tearful moments before Mrs. Cutter was able to locate her.

The sadness lasted only about half a minute before Ariel made her way over to our table to say hello. After that, she was once again all smiles.

After brunch, we hit a few more attractions, including Soarin’. This had the side benefit of allowing us to learn the Cutlet’s height. You had to be at least 40 inches tall to ride, and apparently, the Cutlet is 40.1 inches tall.

Despite being (just) tall enough to ride, we were slightly concerned that she might get scared. Thankfully, she absolutely loved the ride, and even exclaimed, “This is amazing!” at one point. She especially enjoyed the finale when Tinkerbell made an appearance.

Ellen apparently isn't a big draw for three year olds. (Image source)

Ellen apparently isn’t a big draw for three-year olds. (Image source)

As the afternoon progressed, both Mrs. Cutter and the Cutlet seemed to be slowing down. Two days of activity was taking its toll on the Cutlet, and we couldn’t even convince her to go to Universe of Energy. For some reason, the prospect of seeing Ellen DeGeneres being chased by dinosaurs didn’t appeal to her.

Our last ride would be Spaceship Earth. Despite its iconic appearance, I’ve always considered the ride to be a bit lackluster. And it apparently didn’t make a lasting impression on the Cutlet either as immediately after exiting, she asked if we could go into the big silver ball.

She seemed very confused when I told her that we had just been inside the big silver ball.

“Oh. Can we go back in?”

Instead, we headed back to our hotel and enjoyed some time at the pool, and then headed to Downtown Disney for dinner and shopping.

Because everything related to the movie is insanely popular, it is near impossible to find Elsa dresses. (Not that the Cutlet needs any more princess dresses, but Mrs. Cutter seems determined to find one.) Mrs. Cutter hoped that if she was ever going to find one, Disney World would be the place for it. But even the World of Disney store had a scarce offering of Frozen merchandise, and the only Elsa dresses for sale were for infants.

As a nice consolation prize, we bought her a book of princess stories. Naturally, she has been positively obsessed with it.

All in all, it was an excellent vacation. While we optimally would have spent a couple more days at the parks, we still managed to do just about everything that we wanted to.

We hope the Cutlet enjoyed her trip, because it’s probably going to be quite some time before she goes back. But we have lots of pictures of her (most of them with princesses!), so she’ll always be able to look back and remember her first trip to Disney.

Posted in The Cutlet, Trips and Events | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The Cutlet’s Magical Disney World Adventure – Part One

Disney World – It’s the happiest place on Earth. Unless I’m miscalculating, I’ve visited the various parks on twelve separate occasions. But none of those trips have come since 2006, and none of them have included the Cutlet, so Mrs. Cutter and I decided that it was time for me to visit for a thirteenth time.

Unfortunately, we weren’t loaded with unlimited funds nor unlimited vacation time. (Actually, at my new job, I do have unlimited vacation time. But I didn’t know that when we planned the trip.) As a result, it would have to be a relatively short trip. Which meant we’d have to hit Disney fast and hard.

As a Disney veteran, I have a pretty good idea of how to optimize my time at the parks. Or at least I used to have a good idea. On this trip, I’d be bringing along a three-year old girl, and that meant the rules of the game had changed considerably. There was only one thing that I was absolutely sure of: We would be seeing a lot of princesses.

Our journey began when we picked the Cutlet up from school early on Friday night. Mrs. Cutter and I got our obligatory airport fight out of the way in relatively quick fashion, and after that, it was smooth sailing to Orlando.

The smooth sailing was partially due to the effort of a friendly fellow passenger. For some reason, USAirways decided to change our seat selection (much like they did the last time we flew with them!), and had the three of us seated in different rows. Obviously, they weren’t going to let a three-year-old sit by herself, so Mrs. Cutter got her seat changed. But I was going to be seated separately further back in the plane.

Thankfully, the man seated next to the Cutlet offered to switch seats with me. This was a very nice gesture considering I had a middle seat. Then again, it’s possible that he thought a middle seat was preferable to sitting next to a potentially cranky toddler. Either way, it worked out well for me.

Once we arrived at our hotel room, it was past the Cutlet’s bedtime but she didn’t appear to be quite ready to go to sleep yet. She was WAY too pumped up about going to Disney the next day, and I was reminded of this commercial:

We had been somewhat concerned about sharing a room with her. We envisioned an early morning wake up call, but she stayed asleep until 7:45. That was actually later than we had planned on, so we had to hurry to get ready.

The journey to the Magic Kingdom was not a short one. First, we needed to take a shuttle bus from our hotel to the ticket and transportation hub where we obtained our tickets. Next, we boarded the ferry-boat that would deliver us to the gates of the Magic Kingdom.

My ticket had Donald Duck on it!

My ticket had Donald Duck on it!

We decided that it wasn’t enough to simply ride a bus and a boat, so we immediately hopped aboard the train that took us from Main Street to Fantasyland.

We were finally ready to see our first princess of the trip, so we got in line for Belle’s Enchanted Tales.

We soon learned that the wait times for these rides and shows can feel quite different depending on how the line moves. If a line is constantly moving, it doesn’t seem quite as painful. But when a line moves in fits and starts – as this one did - patience levels tend to drop quickly.

Thankfully, the family behind us had a three-year old girl of their own, and the Cutlet soon befriended her. I think they began talking about the Cutlet’s Rapunzel dress (Did you really think she wouldn’t wear a princess dress to Disney World?) and after a few minutes, they were hugging and dancing together.

Mostly due to advanced planning on our part, long waits were the exception rather than the rule. One of the reasons we chose this weekend for our trip was because it appeared to be a bit of a “sweet spot” in the busy spring schedule at Disney. Most colleges had already wrapped up their Spring Breaks, but grade schools usually don’t have their breaks for another week or so. So while there were certainly plenty of people around, the crowds were far from overwhelming.

The rest of the day was crammed with fun. The Cutlet got to meet several more princesses, and unlike when she appeared at the Cutlet’s birthday party, Merida hadn’t seemed to have done drugs immediately before  our encounter.

We also got to watch singing birds and singing bears. We rode on flying carpets, explored a giant treehouse, flew to Neverland, and encountered some ferocious pirates.

Captain Jack wasn't too overwhelmingly shoehorned into the ride (Image source

Captain Jack wasn’t too overwhelmingly shoehorned into the ride (Image source

I’ll admit that I was a little worried about seeing the new Pirates of the Caribbean ride. This was always one of my favorite attractions at Disney, and I was taken aback that they added Jack Sparrow a few years ago. However, the Sparrow additions weren’t overwhelming, and the spirit of the original ride was largely left intact.

It was a long day, and there were a few moments when it looked like the Cutlet wasn’t going to be able to continue. But thanks to our stroller, a few carefully timed rest breaks, and a good deal of determination on our part, we were able to power through.

On the long bus ride back to the hotel, most of the children on board were exhausted. A few were even passed out. But one child in particular was wide awake and seemed to be full of energy.

Mrs. Cutter did not share her daughter’s level of energy. She looked like she would have fallen asleep if she could have.

It was a very busy day, and we had another eventful day looming. Would the Cutlet be up for it? And would her parents survive the experience? Find out in the next installment!

Of course, I couldn’t I couldn’t leave without sharing a little part of my day with you all. So please enjoy watching this video!

Posted in The Cutlet, Trips and Events | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Unemployed for a Day

I am unemployed today.

For most people, that might be an uncomfortable situation, but I will be starting a brand new job tomorrow, so my unemployment is both voluntary and temporary.

I wasn’t at my last job for especially long. Long time readers will remember that I started there just last year.

I never could get the hang of filling out my TPS Reports (Image source)

I never could get the hang of filling out my TPS Reports (Image source)

Why such a quick turnaround? As I soon discovered, the company wasn’t the best fit for me. They worked on contracts for various government agencies, but there wasn’t a well-defined plan for their IT department. As a result, I worked on a lot of things that I wasn’t necessarily trained for, nor had much interest in doing.

There were also a few first world problems that I had to deal with, but I’m pretty sure that those exist at every company.

That said, the situation wasn’t so horrible that I NEEDED to leave. And I wasn’t even really looking to leave. So then why did I leave?

I had connected with a few former co-workers on LinkedIn, and I noticed that there was a position open at my old company. A feeling of nostalgia swept over me, so I inquired about it. Less than a week later I was offered the job. That may seem sudden, but when you have a chance to hire the Cutter, you simply don’t waste time.

Apparently, much like the Jackson 5, they really wanted me back.

It may seem strange that I’d want to go back to a company I once left. After all, there had to be a reason why I left, right?

It had been my first position out of school, and I stayed there for seven years, which is an eternity in today’s world. I felt that I had stagnated in my career, and the only way to grow professionally was to leave. I always liked the company, and I said I could see myself return some day. Now that it’s six years later, I feel the time is right.

I’m sure that some of the things I disliked before will bug me again, but I’ve learned that EVERY company has its share of drawbacks. After all, it is called “work” for a reason. People aren’t necessarily supposed to love going there. At the very least, it should be a much better fit than where I was.

But I’ll start worrying about the new job tomorrow. For right now, I’m just going to enjoy my temporary unemployment. I’ve already gone to the gym, had lunch out, and watched a movie. What should I do next? Ride my bike? Go for a walk? Take a nap?

The possibilities seem endless.

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Follow Me?

At some point, I started to take it for granted that people would follow me.

For the first few years of this blog’s existence, I had a very low number of followers. But as I ventured further out into the blogosphere, that total began to rise. After having a post Freshly Pressed, it began to rise dramatically. I estimate that since my “Pressing,” I have gained about ten new followers each day.

Almost all of those new followers can be placed into one of three categories:

  1. People who came across my site, liked what they saw here, and decided that they’d be interested in reading future posts.
  2. People who wanted to boost their own follower count, so they go around WordPress following every blog they come across.
  3. Spambots.

Spambot is a slang term for an automated account that searches the web, and follows blogs in hopes that they’ll get clicks to their home websites. Here’s an example of a web site whose “owner” recently followed me: (Note: You don’t have to actually click that link. There’s very little of actual value there.)

Obviously, it would be great if most of those followers were of category one. Unfortunately, I believe that 95% of them actually fall into category three. (Although I may be underestimating the number of “twos.”)

Even though I know that they’re likely not real human beings, part of me can’t help but get a little excited every time I get a notification that I have a new follower. After all, you never know when that new follower will actually be an actual person who will appreciate my writing, and maybe even interact with a like or a comment.

For some reason, that steady flow of new followers stopped last week. I’m not talking about a gradual decline in new follows; it was almost as if a switch had been shut off. I went an entire week without gaining one new follow.

I was all like W.T.F? Where did everyone go? Why doesn’t anyone love me anymore? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME SPAMBOTS???

And then yesterday, they returned as if nothing had happened.

Did any other bloggers experience this? Did WordPress make some sort of change to their filters last week? Was there a major spambot convention being held somewhere that left them unable to fulfill their duties? Are the computers becoming sentient and this was the first step in their plans for world domination?

I have a feeling that I’ll never know the truth. Anyway, to all you non-computers out there who might come across this post, don’t feel shy about clicking the “Follow” button. I could use some more real people around here, and chances are, you might enjoy the experience.

But you don’t have to take my word for it; Just listen to the advice of Uncle Kracker:

Actually, you probably shouldn’t do that, since the song is about committing adultery. But it’s still kind of catchy.

Posted in Randomness | Tagged , , , , , | 43 Comments

Hey Weather, Could You Cut it Out Already?

Anyone else tired of crappy weather?

I seem to vaguely recall a few days of warm weather earlier this month, but I’m not entirely certain I didn’t just imagine it. I’m not sure why I don’t remember those days better. They should stand out like bright lights in the darkness that has been this winter, but it’s possible that all of the cold, snowy weather has numbed me to the point where I can’t even remember what nice weather is like anymore.

Just when we thought we were done with this stuff... (Image source)

Just when we thought we were done with this stuff… (Image source)

When it snowed the first week in March, I remember thinking, “Yeah, this sucks, but snow in early March isn’t that unusual. At least I can be pretty certain that this is the last of it.” When it snowed again on St. Patrick’s Day, I was pissed. How was this happening?

I feel like I’m living in a Christmas episode of a television show, in that there is a constant layer of snow on the ground.

I always felt somewhat lied to by those Christmas episodes. I think that unless it took place in California, when a television show had a Christmas episode, it was a requirement to have snow on the ground. Personally, I can’t recall ever having a white Christmas when growing up in Pennsylvania. The years when we did get snow, it usually waited until January or February.


Behold Mini-Olaf!

One thing those Christmas episodes definitely never showed was two parents trying to work from home while their toddler daughter is also in the house because the snow caused her preschool to close yet again. Let’s just say that the television got a pretty good workout on Monday, and pretty soon, the Cutlet will have the movie Frozen memorized (if she doesn’t already).

After she watched Frozen, I was even able to convince her to go outside so that we could build our own version of Olaf the snowman. Fortunately, the snow was wetter than the last time we attempted this feat, and we were able to construct a passable snow creature.

I had expected the weather to at least be nice today. The NCAA tournament begins today (Okay, I know it technically began on Tuesday, but those games have questionable validity), and for some reason, it’s usually pleasant out during the first second round of the tournament. It seems to be nature’s way of telling you that you shouldn’t be inside doing work; you should be inside watching basketball.

Actually, back in 2011, I took that Friday afternoon off from work, invited some friends over, and we sat on our patio to watch the games. That was really nice.

The best way to appreciate great weather is by sitting inside watching basketball! (Image source)

The best way to appreciate great weather is by sitting inside watching basketball! (Image source)

When I left the house this morning, it was foggy, which isn’t a weather condition I would normally describe as being nice. Yesterday’s forecast indicated that we might actually get a warm, sunny day, so maybe there is some hope.

I think I’ll head outside now and check if things have improved. If so, maybe I’ll take a leisurely walk around the office parking lot and enjoy the sun. And if the weather still sucks, then I won’t feel too bad about going back inside, watching some basketball games on my computer and ignoring the outside world.

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Alliance of the Damned’s Staplers

The Cutter:

Another batch of goodness from the unsavory crew that is The Blogging Alliance of the Damned! This time around, we discuss “staplers.”

Originally posted on The Matticus Kingdom:


I’m sure you’ve seen the banner before.  And I’m sure you know what it means.  So, could you tell me?  Because I have no idea…

Anyway, this week it was my lovely opportunity to ask the Alliance a question and present their answers to the kingdom and the rest of the blogosphere.  My question was simple:  What is your “stapler?”  In other words, what is the one item that if it were ever taken from you you’d burn down the world.

Let’s get to the answers:


Stuck on you -

It had the perfect heft. I loved feeling its solidness whenever I held it in my hand. Yet, it didn’t weigh so much that I was distracted by fantasies of using it to clock my micromanaging boss in the head.

I inherited the tape dispenser when I was hired to work in the events office at a conservatory. Technically…

View original 2,363 more words

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And That’s When The Ideas Come

Some of you may have noticed a decrease in the number of posts here lately. There are a few reasons for that, but the biggest one is that I’ve encountered a bit of a creative slump.

Even Pete Rose was susceptible to the occasional slump. (Image source)

Even Pete Rose was susceptible to the occasional slump. (Image source)

I suppose even the best of us have to deal with the occasional slump. And honestly, it was probably bound to happen at some point. After all, it was only a few months ago that I wrote something on 42 consecutive days. It’s difficult to sustain that kind of output for an entire year.

It doesn’t help that I’ve been feeling some stress in various aspects of my life, and it may have taken a toll on my motivation. What little energy I had left was spent coordinating an alliance of bloggers and working hard on my Phillies blog (You know, the one I get paid for).

Over the past week, I tried writing a couple of posts, but I didn’t get very far. I typed a bunch of words, but I soon realized that they were essentially just that: Words. There wasn’t much juice behind them. Not possessing the necessary energy to revise what I had written, I gave up, and thus a couple more posts were added to my ever-increasing Drafts folder.

Sadly, I don't look quite this adorable when I sleep. (Image source)

Sadly, I don’t look quite this adorable when I sleep. (Image source)

That all changed at 4:30 AM on Saturday when I woke up with a flood of ideas pouring into my head. Suddenly, I could think of nothing BUT ideas for blog posts.

While I appreciated the burst of inspiration, I was less than pleased with the timing, since these ideas were preventing me from getting back to sleep. I was tempted to get up and start pounding away at the keyboard since I didn’t know how long the burst of inspiration would last.

Eventually, I was able to ignore my brain and get back to a restless sleep. This was ended by the cries of the Cutlet who apparently decided that we had slept for too long and it was time to interact with her.

Of course I then felt exhausted and without much inspiration to write. Maybe that’s just as well since with the Cutlet demanding my attention, I didn’t have much opportunity to write anything anyway.

But don’t worry, I have a few ideas in mind for future posts, and I the next couple of weeks should prove to be much more prolific.

How about you guys? Do you ever hit slumps with your writing? If so, what do you do to get yourself back on track?

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The Blogging Alliance of the Damned is Back…and Growing!

Remember that little blogging alliance I talked about a couple of weeks ago? Well, we’re back…and we’re growing!

Just like an amoeba!  They don't call me Master of Analogies for nothing! (Image source)

We are growing just like an amoeba! They don’t call me Master of Analogies for nothing! (Image source)

The group’s second challenge has been posted over at Arden’s place.  I encourage everyone who hasn’t already done so to go check it out immediately. (Or at least as soon as you’re done reading this post. I suppose it can wait until then.)

Since my original post introducing us to the world, we’ve added two new members! I didn’t want them to feel left out, so I asked them to similarly come up with some custom titles.

Please welcome the newest members of the Blogging Alliance of the Damned: EditMoi and Samara!

EditMoi – The Axe-wielding Editor

EditMoiThe Alliance is desperately lacking in grammatical self-defense, and I like to fill a need when I see it. I hereby promise to defend the Damned from the good guys and their bad word choices, and I swear to try to improve my lame sense of humor.

In addition to my double-edged pen, I carry a fresh, new copy of Webster’s 11th, and I’m never afraid to admit when I’m wrong. Dead wrong. I’m glad to join you all on the other side!

Samara - Queen of Snark

Samara2Although it has been suggested that I might die alone with cats eating my face, the title of Crazy Cat Lady was already claimed.

There are a lot of interesting titles already announced in the Alliance. There are a few animals – a Dinosaur, a Goatacus (just go with it), a Duppy (which I thought was a fish, but which is actually a Jamaican fish)

We currently have an Empress and a Jester.  We also have a Master of Analogies, which I find very helpful. Maybe he can explain to me if what I’m saying compares to anything significant.

There’s even an Aerialist Penis. I can’t wait to see what that’s all about.

I toyed with “Freelance Troublemaker.”  Also “Hardcore Culture Ninja.”

And then I remembered – I already have a title. I was crowned Queen of Snark by none other than List of X.

As Queen of Snark for The Alliance of the Damned, I believe I have finally earned the right for people to call me “Ma’am.”

…Without adding, “you’re making a scene.”

Posted in Alliance of the Damned | Tagged , , , , | 23 Comments

The Winter Weather Battle Royale

Worst winter ever.

After spending another day at home yesterday trying to entertain the Cutlet (Preschool was closed!) and shoveling the driveway clear of snow, I’m officially sick of winter.

Remember how I complained about my trip to the Florida Keys back in January? Well a trip to Florida would sound pretty darned good right about now.

After months of being pounded by winter weather, I’ve decided to get some revenge. I rounded up a slew of fictional characters who all share a common trait: They have the power to control or create snow and ice. To punish them, I will make them compete in a “last man standing” battle royale…TO THE DEATH!

Here are the characters who will be competing:

  • Queen Elsa from Frozen
  • Frozone from the Incredibles
  • Iceman from the X-Men
  • Mr. Freeze from Batman
  • Snow Miser from The Year Without a Santa Claus
  • Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat

Which of these characters is going to prevail? Here’s my take, in order in which they’d likely be eliminated.


Frozone can freeze the ambient moisture in the air, allowing him to shoot ice rays. He also utilizes gadgets like snowboards and ice skates to move quickly over the ice and snow.

Why he won’t win

Everyone on this list has the power to make ice, so Frozone’s abilities are nothing special. Plus, he’s been unofficially retired for a few years now.  While he still partakes in a little bit of superhero moonlighting, he’s bound to be a little out of shape.

In addition, he’s not even invulnerable to the cold! He needs to wear a special insulated suit. That weakness would leave him easy pickings for…

Mr. Freeze

One of Batman’s main villains, Mr. Freeze was caught in a scientific experiment gone wrong, and now his body temperature must be kept below freezing at all times.

He wears a cryogenic suit that gives him super strength, and he attacks his enemies with ice weapons, most notably a gun that freezes victims on contact.

Why he won’t win

Mr. Freeze’s doesn’t have any natural ability to create or control ice; he is completely dependent on his suit and gun.  Once he was disarmed, he would be defenseless and easily taken out by someone with actual powers like…


One of the original members of the X-Men, Bobby Drake is a mutant who can freeze ambient moisture in the air.  He can surround his body in an icy coat of armor and freeze anything he encounters. Later in his career, he discovered he could transform his entire body into water, making him one of the more powerful mutants on the planet.

Why he won’t win

Most people are surprised to learn Iceman is so powerful. He seems relatively weak, mostly because he doesn’t seem to take himself or his powers too seriously. Even Professor X has his doubts:

Iceman’s inability to remain serious and focused will cost him when he encounters a deadly foe like…


Sub-Zero is a member of an ancient clan of assassins who possess deadly martial arts skills as well as the ability to create and control ice. He can instantly freeze his opponents, create ice duplicates of himself, and oh yeah, if for some reason he lost his ice powers, he’s essentially a ninja!

Why he won’t win

Being an ice-wielding ninja is pretty impressive. It seems like the only thing that could stop him was if he went against someone with godlike abilities.  Someone like…

Queen Elsa

Like the others, Elsa can create ice, but her powers appear to go far beyond that: She is able to erect a giant ice palace with minimal effort; She brings about eternal winter in the kingdom of Arendelle without even trying. Perhaps most impressive, she has the ability to create life in the form of sentient snowmen.

Why She Won’t Win

Elsa has godlike abilities. But what would happen if she went against someone who actually appears to be a god?

Snow Miser

Snow Miser is the being responsible for creating cold weather on Earth.  Sure, Elsa was able to bring about premature winter in Arendelle, but Snow Miser has the ability to do that to any place on Earth. Much like Elsa, he also seems to be able to create life: He has an army of minions who serve him.

Why he Will Win

Elsa is powerful, but she isn’t entirely sure of her abilities. Snow Miser appears to be an omnipotent being who has been at this for years.  Chances are, if he was thrown into this challenge, he’d transform his competitors into water vapor before they even knew what had happened.

After that, he’d likely turn his attention on me for including him in this battle to begin with. Once I had been permanently frozen, he’d probably get his revenge on humanity by bringing about an eternal winter that could only be stopped by his brother Heat Miser.

So yeah, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Sorry I mentioned it.

Posted in Pop Culture | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Mrs. Cutter Takes Points Off the Board

As I’ve mentioned before, my daughter has developed a bit of a unique fashion sense. She’s apparently decided that EVERY outfit requires a tutu to go with it. Sometimes the tutus do indeed add a nice flourish to the outfit. And other times…not so much.

The perfect compliment to any outfit? (Image source)

The perfect complement to any outfit? (Image source)

In hope of getting her dressed in a semi-efficient manner and avoiding an argument in the morning hours, I usually allow her to wear whatever she picks out. I’ll sometimes HEAVILY encourage her to go in a different direction (I’ve had mixed results with this), but I won’t fight it too much.

Mrs. Cutter is not as agreeable.

Yesterday, the Cutlet dressed herself in the outfit that we had picked out the night before: A polka dot shirt that had a built-in skirt at the bottom. The problem came when the Cutlet decided that (surprise!) she needed to add a tutu.

Unfortunately, that built-in skirt made adding a tutu look a bit ridiculous. I told the Cutlet that it would look silly if she had a tutu on over her skirt. The Cutlet did not share this opinion. I told her she would look much better sans tutu, but she was adamant, so I gave up.

And then in walked Mrs. Cutter: “You can’t wear a tutu with that outfit!”

“But I want to wear a tutu!”

Speaking of Tutus and funny outfits. (Image source)

Speaking of Tutus and funny outfits. (Image source)

“No, sweetie, that looks ridiculous.”

(I began shaking my head knowing what was about to come)

“I don’t want to wear polka dots.”

And with that, she began to take off her polka dot shirt.

There’s an old cliché in football: Never take points off the board. Sometimes a team will kick a field goal, but the other team will commit a penalty on the play. The kicking team has a choice to make: Be satisfied with the three points they already have, or nullify the field goal in hopes that they can go on to score a touchdown.

Just take the three points and be happy with them. (Image source)

Just take the three points and be happy with them. (Image source)

That’s the philosophy I use in situations like this. Partially because she’s picky about her outfits, partially because she often insists on getting dressed by herself, and partially because she is easily distracted, it can take her a long time to get dressed in the morning.

Once she has an outfit on, I am reluctant to have her take it off and restart the process. It might not be the best looking outfit, and there might be some sort of style clash, but if it’s the right size and weather appropriate (No, sweetie. It’s 30 degrees out. You can’t wear that summer dress!), I’m okay with it.

I told Mrs. Cutter that if she wanted to help her get changed, it was all on her, and I quickly fled the scene.

A few minutes later, the Cutlet happily walked down the stairs wearing a completely different pink dress…and no tutu. Apparently, it is acceptable to skip the tutu if the outfit is a pretty dress.

As for this morning, the Cutlet decided she wanted a purple shirt and jeans. As for whether or not the outfit was accompanied by a purple tutu…do you really even have to ask?

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