Ten Years on the Job
January 25, 2011 at 1:18 pm | Posted in Weekcap | 1 CommentIt’s shocking how fast time can pass you by sometimes.
Saturday marked my tenth anniversary of working a full-time job. It is hard to believe that I’ve been a full-time employee for ten whole years now, especially considering how much I fought entering the workplace to begin with.
Back in 2001, I was unemployed and happy. It was a care free life, full of sleeping past noon, random internet surfing, and watching The Price is Right.
Sadly, things could not stay that way forever. While some people I know have found ways to avoid regular employment, most of us have found it necessary in order to live. I was catching some flack from my parents (even though I was paying my own way thanks to various temp jobs) but more importantly, I was running out of money.
As Peter Gibbons learned in Office Space, eventually bills have to be paid. My landlord was relatively laid back, but he would have gotten a bit upset if I simply stopped paying rent.
So I managed to find myself a job. Armed with a college degree and no real applicable real world knowledge, I was hired as a paid intern with the understanding that I would eventually be made a full-time employee.
Soon enough, I was a full-time employee – complete with health benefits! – and stayed there nearly seven years. After that, I moved on to my current job where I have been for over three years now.
Ten years go by quickly if you don’t pay attention. I have to look back and wonder what exactly I have to show for all that time spent at the job.
Well, I made a decent amount of money – although probably not as much as I potentially could have if I was more aggressive in my career. Condos, cars, and other material goods certainly aren’t free, so you’ve got to pay for them somehow. I’ve also accumulated a decent amount of savings so that the Cutlet won’t have to support me when I’m old and feeble.
And along the way, I have met some friends at the job. So I guess the time wasn’t wasted.
Still, I’ve decided that the next ten years won’t necessarily be spent the same way as the last ten years. I plan on continuing to make money, but I hope to do so in a way that doesn’t involve sitting in an office for eight hours a day.
Then again, knowing my less than stellar work ethic, there’s a good chance that ten years from now, you’ll be reading a blog post about my twentieth anniversary.
Random Thought of the Week
Yesterday, I was at the gym, and I wondered for a second: Why is it so crowded? Then I remembered. It’s January! The gym always sucks in January.
The place is filled with “New Years Resolutioners” who are determined to start a new lifestyle, even though most of them won’t still be around in a couple of months.
The additional crowd is bad enough, but these people are especially annoying because being new to the gym, they generally don’t know where they’re going or how to operate the equipment. This leads to quite a few “aimless warriors” who spend half their time standing around looking confused, and getting in my way.
Random Image Found on the Web
That is a close up of a maggot. If you thought they were disgusting creatures before, this probably doesn’t improve your opinion.
One Hit Wonder of the Week
This week’s one hit wonder is “Mickey” by Toni Basil. This song was huge back in the 80s. Just about everyone was singing “Oh Mickey, you’re so fine. You’re so fine, you blow my mind. Hey Mickey!” *clap clap clap*
The video featured the singer in a cheerleader outfit, which nowadays would probably make her into a huge star. In fact, I’m kind of confused how it didn’t happen back then. I can’t tell if her look would have been considered hot back in the 80s. Remember, the 80s were strange times.
I was pretty young at the time, so my grandfather had me convinced that the song was about Mickey Mouse. When I later found out that it wasn’t, I think a small piece of my childhood died.
Top Five of the Week
I’ll go over my Top Five Job Related Moments.
5. Winning the Baby Ruth award - At my old company, for our intracompany softball games, a Baby Ruth bar was awarded to the player deemed the star of the game. I managed to win the award in both the first and last games I ever played.
Sadly, I played rather poorly in most of the games in between.
4. Company Trip to Washington and New York – Every five years, my company would take all of its employees on a trip. But they wouldn’t reveal the destination until the day of the trip. In 2002, the company decided to visit the two cities hurt the most by 9/11. While the trip wasn’t as exciting as it could have been (we were hoping to go somewhere, not just stay in town) it was still pretty cool.
They even got K.C. and the Sunshine Band for a live concert!
3. The Day of No Work - On July 2nd, 2004, it was the last day before a three day holiday weekend. The office was just about abandoned, so I think I came in early, took a couple of extended breaks, and left early. I may have done five minutes work, and nobody noticed.
2. When I had Squinty pick up my 1-800-Contacts box - Trust me, it was hilarious.
1. Company Trip to San Francisco - In 2007, the company took another mystery trip, this time to San Francisco. Despite a rough start to the trip – our plane had technical difficulties and my co-workers might think Mrs. Cutter and I have some issues – once we got to SanFran, it was an amazing time.
Very Superstitious
January 18, 2011 at 6:10 pm | Posted in Weekcap | 2 CommentsTags: Biz Markie, Philadelphia Eagles
This past Sunday was a sad day for me. It was the first Sunday after the Philadelphia Eagles were eliminated from the playoffs.
It’s always sad when you wake up on a Sunday and know that while football is still being played, your team is no longer eligible to win the Super Bowl. Of course, I should be quite used to this feeling since the Eagles have never won the Super Bowl, and haven’t won an NFL title in the past 50 years.
As Mrs. Cutter could tell you, I am quite superstitious about my teams, and I have built up quite a few habits or rituals which I must perform before or during games.
I will note that I’ve gotten a lot better since my grade school days. I once went a week without watching TV because I thought I might accidentally view something that would be harmful to the Temple University’s basketball team’s chances.
But I still hold on to quite a few superstitions. Some of my more notable include: Wearing a different jersey depending on whether the Eagles’ game is played during the day or night and not washing my jersey unless it was a bye week. Also, while watching games, I’ve made Mrs. Cutter change seats on the couch because I needed to be sitting in certain spots on the couch at certain times.
But I now have to wonder why do I continue to do these things considering they have never paid off? I mean, it would be one thing had the Eagles won the Super Bowl at one point and I was just constantly repeating things from that season. At least in that scenario, I’d have some history of success. But no, I’m essentially bowing to superstitions that have NEVER worked.
So next NFL season, no more superstitions. I will not insanely adhere to any pregame rituals or lucky traditions. Because no matter how lucky they may be, they have yet to deliver me a Super Bowl win.
(Note to Mrs. Cutter: I reserve the right to withdraw this statement as early as the second half of week one)
Random Thought of the Week
Now that we are a family of three, Mrs. Cutter and I have been looking into the possibility of moving on to a new home. Of course, in order to move, we would have to sell our current condo.
And that is where the problem lies. Upon looking into the possibility of selling, we were faced with the realities of the current housing market.
Mrs. Cutter and I bought our condo in late 2006. Anyone who has followed the housing market knows that this was not the best time to buy. It seemed like an optimal time, since housing prices had already dropped off from their 2005 highs. But little did we know that housing prices would continue to drop over the next two years.
You hear about all these stories about short sales and foreclosures, and now I understand how it happens to people. Fortunately, unlike those people, we are not in a desperate situation. We can certainly stay put for another couple of years, and if we really needed to get out, we would be able to without ruining ourselves.
So for our neighbors who enjoy having us nearby, I have some good news: It looks like we aren’t going anywhere for a little while.
Random Photo Found on the Web
This is an action figure of Jek Porkins from Star Wars. I always found it kind of funny that they named the fat pilot Porkins.
One Hit Wonder of the Week
As a new recurring feature, each week I’ll present a song that was a band’s only hit. We’ll start off with one of my favorites: “Just a Friend” by Biz Markie.
Biz may have only had one hit song, but he’s managed to extend his fifteen minutes of fame absurdly long. He goes on musical tours (must be a lot of filler), guest spots on other artists’ records, and makes random acting appearances.
Top Five of the Week
Here are my Top 5 Worst Philadelphia Eagles Playoff Losses (that I have watched)
5. Dallas Cowboys, January 2009 - I didn’t think the Eagles were that good, but it was sickening to watch Cowboys owner Jerry Jones slapping hands with George W. Bush after a Cowboys’ touchdown.
4. Carolina Panthers, January 2004 - The third of three straight losses in the NFC Championship game.
3. Dallas Cowboys, January 1993 - I was convinced that the Eagles were destined for the Super Bowl this year. Instead, it was just the start of a Cowboys dynasty.
2. New England Patriots – Super Bowl 39, January 2005 - Several blown opportunities early on, and then horrible clock management at the end.
1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, January 2003 - This should have been the Eagles’ year to win the Super Bowl. It didn’t seem possible that they could lose this game. They lost.
2010: The Year in Review
January 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm | Posted in Pop Culture, The Cutlet | Leave a commentTags: Buy Buy Baby, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Tron Legacy
So why have I waited until the second week of 2011 to review 2010? I could say that the extra week gave me additional time to look back on the year and process what happened. Or I could say that since the Cutlet had her six month birthday last week, it also allows me to incorporate some more lessons learned from her first six months.
Of course the real reason is because I’ve been busy at work and I’ve been writing some other stuff, and I haven’t had the necessary time.
So now that I found a few minutes to spare, I’ll take a look back at 2010, and include some lessons I’ve learned along the way.
Lowlight of the year (Non-baby division): The Snowpocalypse
I’ve talked about this before, but at this stage of my life, I no longer find large amounts of snow to be an enjoyable adventure. Instead, it’s become an infuriating inconvenience.
During the Snowpocalypse of 2010, many of my friends had a great time. They had off from work, went out and had snowball fights and then drank themselves silly at bars. Under different circumstances, we might have had similar fun too.
Except that we live near an above ground Metro station that closes down when there’s heavy snowfall. So we couldn’t really go anywhere. And we lost our electricity, so we were stuck in a cold condo with no electronic entertainment. And of course, Mrs. Cutter was pregnant, so she couldn’t walk long distances in the snow, or go out drinking.
So yeah, the Snowpocalypse kind of sucked for us.
Highlight of the Year (Non-baby division): Winning a kickball championship
I’ve played sports for most of my life, from my early days of youth soccer to my current days of adult kickball. I’ve been on quite a lot of teams over the years. And yet somehow, I had managed to never be on a team that won a championship.
Sure, I was on some good teams, and I had a few teams win regular season titles, but any time there was a playoff, my team came up on the losing end at some point.
On the bright side, when I was in fifth grade, I won my synagogue’s youth chess tournament! So it wasn’t like I was a complete loser. Just maybe I wasn’t destined to win in athletics. (And to think, my mother wants to throw out that trophy from the chess tournament)
I played on two different indoor kickball teams last winter, and both of them made it to the championship game so I would have the opportunity to win not one, but two titles! Sadly, my first team got beaten rather badly, and I had to settle for being runner-up. (I’ve dealt with that before. My kickball teams are quite proficient at losing in the championship game)
But thankfully – despite my relatively weak performance – my other team came through.
For once, I got to be a part of a jubilant celebration. For once, I got to wear a shiny medal. For once, I got to carry a large shiny trophy around, and then later in the night, drink beer out of it. It was a glorious time.
Mrs. Cutter wasn’t quite as happy when I brought the trophy home, but I keep assuring her that it will look great in the rec room of our future home.
Best TV Show of the Year: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Have you ever watched a TV show, and wonder if the writers wrote a particular joke just for you? This has happened a couple of times for me. Once was on Family Guy when Peter decides to shave Quagmire’s cat. I don’t think anyone in America could have possibly laughed harder at this than Squinty and myself.
Another moment happened recently during Always Sunny’s Christmas special when they made a Von Hayes reference.
I’m sure that most of the people watching had no idea who they were talking about. Mrs. Cutter certainly did not. As a Phillies fan who grew up in the 80s, I found it to be hilarious.
It’s just one of the moments that makes this show great. On just about every show, you can see exactly where the plot is headed, and yet, they still manage to make it funny with jokes both subtle and not.
And if you’d like to learn more about Von Hayes, here’s a helpful link: http://www.startwedman.com/2010/12/always-sunny-and-von-hayes.html
Movie of the Year: Tron Legacy
Was there any doubt? I didn’t get to see many movies this year, so I didn’t have a deep pool of candidates from which to choose from.
And while I saw some good movies this year, (Inception and The Social Network were both good as well) I don’t know how I could pick against my most anticipated movie ever, when it (mostly) lived up to expectations.
Song of the Year: Power – Kanye West
After his detour into trying to sing, Kanye came back and remembered that his skills were as a rapper. And we got Power, which is an incredible song. So please, Kanye, no more singing!
As expected, the second half of my year was quite different from the first half. The first half was all about preparing for the baby and transitioning out of my old lifestyle. The second half has been mostly about trying to raise this child. Here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way:
Lesson learned: Giving up drinking is not that difficult
I decided to stop drinking upon the birth of the Cutlet. There were a few reasons for this, but mostly it comes down to not wanting to make an alcohol fueled mistake now that I have another human being depending on me.
I wasn’t sure how easy this would be. For better or worse, my social life has been based around alcohol and bars for the past 14 years. Would I be able to still socialize if I wasn’t drinking? And would I be able to maintain my sobriety while socializing?
Aside from a few gulps of wine here and there (I’m not an alcoholic, so the occasional sip isn’t going to do me harm) I’ve been able to stick to it.
My diminished social life has made it much easier. Mrs. Cutter and I aren’t going out and partying every week, so there’s much less opportunity for me to drink. And typically when we do go places, someone has to drive. So my opportunities to drink are lessened.
Plus, I was never someone who drank because they liked alcohol. I would drink because that’s what people do when they socialize.
If I’m ever tempted, I can also remember that hangover or not, the Cutlet is going to be waking up in the morning, and somebody is going to have to take care of her.
Lesson learned: The Cutlet may have a future in opera
I’m sure that every parent thinks their baby cries a lot. But I’m telling you, the Cutlet not only cries a lot, but she almost seems to actually enjoy doing so.
Apparently, the Cutlet is not one to quietly suffer. No, when she is unhappy, she let’s the world know about it. And when she’s really upset, she releases an unholy sounding loud, high pitched shriek. I don’t know how my child has such anger in her, or why she is so high pitched, but if there are any “loudest baby” competitions out there, I think I will have her compete.
Lesson learned: A sleeping baby is wonderful
While we can complain about the Cutlet’s crying habits, I certainly can not complain about her sleeping habits. She sleeps long, and she sleeps soundly. I guess all that crying really tires her out.
A couple of months ago, we had made the mistake of overreacting to the sounds she makes in the night. Then we realized that like most people, she sometimes wakes up in the night. But she’s shown the ability to go right back to sleep without any help. Once we realized this, we turned down the volume on the baby monitor, figuring that if she was really upset, we would hear her. (Remember that she’s the loudest baby EVER)
As a result, Mrs. Cutter and I have also been sleeping well. And that is a very, very good thing.
There are also times during the day when she takes naps. During those times, I sometimes let my guard down. I start to think, “This is nice. Just a quiet afternoon at home. Not a worry in the world.” And just as I’ve started to relax, I’ll hear a cry, and be quickly snapped back into reality.
Lesson learned: Time is valuable
With a baby, free time is a luxury. Maybe some babies are content playing by themselves. The Cutlet is not. She can play by herself in her chair or exersaucer, but she seems to always want to verify that one of her parents is watching her. She’ll start to cry out until we acknowledge her, and then when we do, she smiles brightly at us.
While that may be very adorable, but it also means that as long as she’s awake, someone has got to be paying her some attention, or else we’ll probably hear some crying.
Side note: This may actually be our fault. We might be too quick to attend to her, and because of it, she isn’t learning how to self-soothe. It’s possible that we’re overstimulating her with our attention, which causes her to sometimes go into fatigue related tantrums on the weekends. Sigh…I wish these things came with instruction manuals.
Anyway, we’ve learned that free time can absolutely not be wasted. If we’re not taking care of her, we pretty much need to be cleaning something, fixing something, or buying something. Which leads me to…
Lesson learned: Babies are expensive
There is a never ending parade of items that you have to buy for babies. Every time you turn around, the Cutlet has outgrown something. This usually means that newer items must be purchased. And this usually results in a trip out to Buy Buy Baby.
Buy Buy Baby should have a big sign at the entrance saying “Nobody gets out alive.” There is no such thing as a quick, easy, or most importantly cheap trip to this store.
Sure, you might walk in with the best of intentions, thinking that you’re only picking up one item. But then Mrs. Cutter realizes we need more bottle liners. And we could use some extra diapers while we’re at it. And look! That’s a good price on baby food. We’d better get some.
By the time you’re done, you’ve got a basket full of stuff, and you start to think it might be easier to just have your paycheck directly deposited into Buy Buy Baby’s account.
We have learned that we can’t fall into the trap where we buy the Cutlet an outfit because it is “adorable.” Every piece of clothing for a baby girl is adorable. For us to buy it, it needs to be both adorable and necessary.
Lesson learned: Conversations can be more difficult
When non-parents ask how the Cutlet is doing, I wonder how token of a question it is.
I’m guessing they want to hear quick answers like “She’s good. Weighs 20 pounds now,” and not more detailed responses like “Well, the first ointment we tried for the diaper rash wasn’t working so well, so we had to try a new brand,” or “She’s spitting up all over the place. Half of my clothes are ruined.”
And I’ve found that even though I don’t want to be one of those people who only talks about my child, sometimes I can’t help but bring her up. When you’ve got something that occupies about 75% of your brain power, it can be difficult to think about much else.
I sometimes tell people that I’m not used to having normal conversations with people, and that I’d probably communicate better if they started screaming in my ear. Thankfully, nobody has taken me up on this yet.
Lesson learned: Despite the price in time, money, and hearing, having a child is indeed worth it
Not much more that I can say. Hope everyone had a good 2010, and here’s to a good 2011!
Christmas with the Cutlet
January 6, 2011 at 12:50 pm | Posted in The Cutlet, Trips and Events | Leave a commentTags: Christmas, New Jersey Turnpike
This week brings a return to normalcy after the hectic end to 2010.
Due to holiday travel, vacation days, and a heavy workload at my job, I haven’t been able to write a blog post in some time. So here is a belated Christmas recap, complete with some lessons learned (or in some cases re-learned).
Lesson Learned: With a baby, the holiday season is even more busy and stressful than before
I may have thought that Christmastime was chaotic before, but with a baby, things become elevated to the next level.
For instance, packing the car for the drive to Long Island becomes much more complicated. Before, we needed to pack our clothes and the hundreds of gifts which we had purchased for people. Now, we still needed to pack all that, but we also had to include everything that a baby could conceivably need over a span of five days.
The end result is that the car is packed pretty tight.
The drive is also more difficult since we can’t just keep the Cutlet in her car seat for over six hours. We knew we’d have to make at least one stop. Fortunately, she slept for most of the way until the New Jersey turnpike where we stopped at the first rest area we came to.
Lesson learned: There is no such thing as a quick stop with a baby
At the rest area, we attempted to give the Cutlet her bottle. This was not a smooth process. Because we were at a public place with a lot of strange people around, she couldn’t concentrate on eating. Instead, she wanted to keep looking around and seeing what was happening around her. Despite probably being hungry, she would not keep at the bottle for more than a few seconds at a time.
Of course, part of the problem also might have been due to the forthcoming massive bowel movement.
Lesson learned: If you want a baby to wear a specific outfit to an event, you’d better put it on immediately beforehand
Since we were headed to Grandpa’s house, we put her in a shirt that says “I have a rockin’ grandpa.” But that shirt, along with every other article of clothing she had on needed to be changed. When she relieves her bowels in an upright position, the Cutlet has mastered the ability to send the fecal matter straight up her back. She’s quite talented.
Lesson learned: Pack extra pants
As a special bonus, some of mess escaped from her diaper, soaked through two layers of her clothes, and got some on my pants as well.
Lesson learned: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is awesome
After we finally arrived at Grandpa’s, we watched this holiday classic. If anyone doesn’t find this movie to be hilarious, then there’s something wrong with them.
Lesson learned: Home Alone 2 is less awesome
It’s not necessarily a bad movie. Yet, the producers made absolutely no attempt to hide that they were simply recreating the first movie. Kind of a rip off if you ask me.
Lesson learned: Relatives can add to the stress levels
Christmas Eve was not a relaxing day.
Because Grandpa’s house can be quite loud at times, the Cutlet didn’t nap as well as she should have. This was the first problem, as from our experience, poor naps during the day = cranky baby in the evening.
Then, a bunch of Mrs. Cutter’s relatives came over. Of course, everyone wants to see the baby. And squeal at the baby. And hold the baby.
The problem is, the Cutlet doesn’t care that she’s related to these people. All she knows is that there are a bunch of strangers in her face. And she has very low tolerance for it.
Once the Cutlet inevitably starts crying, those relatives no longer want to hold the Cutlet. They quickly hand the Cutlet back to mommy or daddy.
Lesson learned: To a baby, Santa Claus is just a strange fat guy in red
For my three year old niece, the arrival of Santa Claus was a magical experience. For the Cutlet, this was just yet another strange person holding her and talking to her. The crying only grew worse.
Lesson learned: A loud crying baby can cause parents to snap
After a few hours of family time, the Cutlet was done. She was fed up with everything, and was letting her displeasure be known to everyone. We tried putting her to bed, but she didn’t seem to be able to calm down.
We began to receive a lot of unsolicited advice as to how to calm the Cutlet down. We also got hit with questions like, “Why is the baby crying?” It was at this point when Mrs. Cutter may or may not have screamed at someone.
Here is the correct question to ask the parent of a screaming child: “Is there anything I can do to help?” If there is, please do it. If not, get out of the way!
We realized our only hope was to pack everything up, put the Cutlet in her car seat, and drive to Grandma’s house. The hope was that she would fall asleep on the car ride. And thankfully, she did.
After that, things calmed down significantly. The Cutlet was much calmer on Christmas, and as a result, the day was much less stressful for everyone.
Lesson Learned: Snow sucks
“Yippee! It’s snowing! No school! We get to play outside!”
When I hear people say things like that, I just shake my head in disbelief. Sadly, I’m a little past the point of feeling joyous when seeing flakes flutter down from the sky. When I think of snow, I now think of last winter when my weekend plans kept getting ruined. Or having our power go out for three days.
I can now also think of getting stuck at my in-laws house for an extra day, and having to use vacation time which I didn’t really have to spare.
Lesson learned: Snow blowers are useful
Mrs. Cutter’s uncle had received a snowblower as a birthday gift. This came in handy in clearing out most of the driveway, especially since the plowing company didn’t seem to be in any hurry to do the job.
Lesson Learned: People can’t drive in snow
Sometimes, when driving on a highway, pileups of snow can cause lanes to suddenly disappear. If you are driving in one of these lanes, this does not give you the right to simply cut into the next lane, especially if there is a car already in that lane.
Another behavior I don’t recommend is to slam on the brakes when there is snow on the road. Pump your brakes, people!
And while going glacially slow down hills may seem like a good idea, it makes it that much more difficult to go back uphill when the time comes. Haven’t these people ever heard about momentum? Or am I the only person who paid attention in physics class?
Lesson learned: The New Jersey Turnpike sucks
Actually, sucks doesn’t come close to describing it. On Tuesday, when we were finally able to leave, we first had to get off Long Island. The snow pileups and heavy volume didn’t make this an easy task, and it took much longer than it should have.
But this was nothing compared to what we experienced on the Turnpike.
I’m guessing that most people were planning to drive home on Sunday, which was the day after Christmas. Others (like us) were planning to leave on Monday. But because of all the snow, everyone pretty much had to wait until Tuesday.
Due to extreme congestion, it took us an hour just to get from exit 9 to exit 8A, and we spent much of that time simply not moving.
Once the Cutlet woke up (thankfully she slept for a long time) we knew we would have to make a stop. We got off at Exit 8A, ate lunch, and then made a decision. Realizing that it would take us forever to get home, we decided to take an alternate route, stop at my parents house, and spend the night there.
This was probably the correct decision. Instead of another seven hours in the car, we were able to get the Cutlet out of her car seat for awhile and play with her. As a bonus, we also got a home cooked meal. I also didn’t have to miss the Eagles game, but based on how that went, maybe that isn’t a bad thing.
Lesson learned: New Years celebrations are a bit different with a baby
Going out on NYE obviously wasn’t going to happen. But we didn’t want to just sit around and do nothing either.
So we got together with three other likeminded couples, had the babies play with each other for awhile, and then had an unofficial new year countdown at 7:15. After that, it was off to bed for the babies.
It was quite a holiday season. While there were some nice moments, I have to wonder why people have this image of a baby’s first Christmas being a magical, wonderful time. I think we’ll enjoy it much more when she’s old enough to understand what is going on.
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