So I was scouring the interwebs, when I came across this trailer:
This inspired me to create a brand new feature on The Cutter Rambles: Why Does This Exist?
I’m going to take something from pop culture and try to determine why it exists. Then, I will decide if it actually has any right to exist.
If it is found wanting, I will advocate eliminating it from the fabric of reality like they did to Holly, Will, and Marshall on that one episode of Land of the Lost. Remember that one where it turned out they were caught in some sort of endless time loop? You know, this one.
Realizing that I’ve just confused 99% of people reading this, I’ll continue.
Why does this exist?
That part is obvious. In the 2ks, a group of actors often teamed up to make movies like Old School, Anchorman, and Wedding Crashers. These movies were generally both funny and successful. The group, sometimes referred to as the “Frat Pack” consisted of Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and the Wilson Brothers.
It feels as if the Frat Pack’s act has worn a little thin recently. There are only so many times we can watch Will Ferrell play an ignorant man-child, or see Vince Vaughn play a fast talking smart ass.
Does anyone remember when Vince Vaughn tried to be a serious actor? He was starring in dramatic movies like Psycho and Domestic Disturbance, and for the most part, America was all like, “No thanks.”
Vaughn then seemed to remember what had made him famous in the first place: His role as Trent from Swingers.
Trent was the impossibly cool, smooth talking guy that we all loved and hoped to be like.
Swingers came out my freshman year of college, and for the rest of my college career, every single guy tried to emulate Trent. In hindsight, it seems ridiculous that we all told each other how “money” we were, but it seemed cool at the time.
From that point on, it seemed that every role that Vaughn played was simply a variation on Trent. The only difference is that he’s much fatter now.
(I am in no way recommending the movie Couples Retreat, but if anyone ever wondered how Mikey and Trent from Swingers turned out, you can watch that movie to find out. But seriously, that movie sucked. Don’t watch it.)
As for The Internship, it seems like some movie executives were sitting around and had the following conversation:
Exec #1: So…any ideas?
Exec #2: People liked the movie Wedding Crashers, right?
Exec #1: Sure, although the second half dragged a bit.
Exec #2: Well, what if we remade it?
Exec #1: I don’t know. That movie is only like seven years old. Do we really need a remake already?
Exec #2: Well, what if we remade it…and got Google to pay us for it!
Exec #1: Go on…
After that, I’m sure it didn’t take much for Vaughn and Wilson to come aboard. And thus, we have our movie.
Should This Exist?
To determine if this movie is worthy of existence, I’m going to do a quick breakdown of the trailer:
0:10 – Owen Wilson! Vince Vaughn! They’re back and based on the first few seconds, they’re playing the exact same characters from Wedding Crashers!
0:23 – Hey, it’s John Goodman…wearing a Hawaiian shirt?
0:30 – Jokes about the Terminator movies? Timely!
0:38 – It becomes obvious that this movie is going to be one big commercial for Google.
0:48 – It’s funny because they don’t really understand how technology works.
0:54 – I see you there, B.J. Novak!
1:02 – Can anyone really solve a Rubik’s Cube that fast?
1:18 – So who is supposed to be the one who’s out of touch here? Vince and Owen or the kid in the glasses?
1:22 – Wait, what’s this? Paradise City? Are they going Paradise City on us?
1:38 – Now they make a Flashdance reference. They’re not exactly going too cutting edge with their movie references. What’s next? Tootise? Mr. Mom?
1:43 – Is there any chance those kids would even know what Flashdance is?
1:46 – For some reason, this shot of the girl saying “Oh boy” cracks me up. Maybe because it is so obviously taken out of context?
1:48 – Yep, they’re going Paradise City on us. This seems like an example of some good old fashion turd polishing. And yet…it’s working. I hear Paradise City, and I can’t help but think, “Maybe I would like this movie.”
Seriously, they could have put Paradise City in the trailer for Les Mis, and I might have considered seeing it. It also would help if they added an Anne Hathaway nude scene.
(Note: The above was my way of checking to see if Mrs. Cutter has read this far. Sometimes she loses focus)
1:52 – A brief shot of a woman who is assumably Owen Wilson’s love interest. It’s probably not an especially great role considering she doesn’t get any lines in the trailer. But who knows, maybe she’s the next Rachel McAdams?
2:00 – I don’t see what’s so bad about having a beer with your boss. If your boss invites you out to happy hour, isn’t it generally a good idea to go? The presenter guy is obviously just kind of a dick.
2:10 – They don’t know who Professor Xavier is? Really? How would these guys not know who Professor Xavier is? I think even my mother knows who Professor Xavier is.
If this movie took place in the 90′s, this joke might make sense, as the “nerds” might read X-Men comics while the “cool kids” wouldn’t.
But come on! There have been five X-Men movies! The X-Men are mainstream now.
Maybe the movie will reveal that for some reason these guys haven’t watched a movie since 1999. That’s about the only way that joke makes sense.
2:22 – Ah, good old Patrick Stewart engaging in some self-mockery. Stewart used to be a respected stage actor. But since Star Trek ended, it’s pretty much been all comic books and Seth McFarlane projects for him.
Speaking of which, why not have Stewart host the Oscars? He’s still respected enough, and he’s clearly got a good sense of humor.
Does this movie have any right to exist? Not in my opinion.
Wedding Crashers was decent enough, (Really, the second half is lousy) but at no point did I say, “I’d really like to watch that movie again…only this time, I’d want it to be a long commercial for Google!”
As a closing gift, if anyone was curious about the Land of the Lost episode I referenced earlier, I found it on YouTube! Enjoy!