The Cutter’s Grand Finale Super Bowl LIII Preview Post

This is it, folks: The very last post on The Cutter Rambles! (At least, the last post until I inevitably decide to start blogging again in a year or two.)

For the finale, I’m going to preview the grandest of all American sports traditions: The Super Bowl! As I mentioned before, I am not going to go too sports-heavy here, so even if you don’t care for football, you’ll probably be able to enjoy it a little.

Of course, one reason I won’t talk too much about the game is because…

This Game Sucks

It’s the New England Patriots vs. the Los Angeles Rams! (Sound of balloon deflating)

Obviously, the matchup wasn’t going to come close to being as exciting as last year’s game, and I’m not just saying that as an Eagles fan. Last year you had a long-suffering fan base hoping to see their team win its first Super Bowl. There was also a strong underdog story with a backup quarterback taking on one of the greatest of all time.

Is anyone who isn’t a fan of either team actually excited to see a Patriots vs. Rams matchup? Like last year, the Patriots are taking on a team they vanquished in a previous Super Bowl, but considering the Rams have relocated since then, it isn’t as if Rams fans are dying for revenge. It isn’t clear if the people of Los Angeles even know they have a team in the Super Bowl.

As for the Patriots, I think everyone outside of the New England area is sick of them by now. And after playing in so many Super Bowls, even Patriots fans can barely be bothered to get worked up about it.

The Patriots used to carry strong appeal as a villain so at least people could enjoy cheering against them, but that’s lost some luster as well. We just saw them lose in last year’s game, and it feels inevitable that win or lose, they’re going to be right back in the mix again next year.

Besides, how could this year’s game possibly give us a moment as glorious as this one?

It’s obvious that this game would be much better for everyone (except maybe Patriots fans) if the Eagles were involved. But there is one bright side to their absence…

Party On!

As you may know, last year’s Super Bowl featured the Philadelphia Eagles, so I was a bit more excited about that game than I am this year’s edition. While I was obviously pumped about having my team playing for the NFL’s championship, I felt like I missed out on a lot of the fun of the Super Bowl.

I compared the experience to being at your own wedding: It’s a huge celebration, and you’re right in the middle of it, but you don’t get to fully immerse yourself in the event.  Mrs. Cutter and I have remarked that we wished we could have been guests at our own wedding. All of our friends were there, and everyone seemed to be having a great time, but since we had so much to do, and so many people to talk to, we felt like we missed out on some of the party.

For both events, in the weeks prior, I became very single-minded in purpose, and just about everyone wanted to talk to me about it. Leading up to last year’s game, it felt like every single person in my office came by my desk to ask me my thoughts on the game. To my disbelief, at one point I actually said, “I really need people to stop talking to me about football so I can concentrate on work.”

Mrs. Cutter had wanted to have a Super Bowl party last year, but I refused. When the Eagles are playing an important game, the last thing I want to do is worry about entertaining guests, or listening to people blather on while I’m living and dying with every play. I didn’t care about which commercials were funny, or what score I needed the quarter to end with to win the squares pool. I just wanted the Eagles to win the damn game. (They did, BTW.)

I also told her that she was allowed to go to our neighbors’ party, but she had to bring the kids and stay the entire game. After watching the collapse of the Falcons the year prior, I had nightmares of the family returning home, and the Eagles suffering a collapse. Mrs. Cutter can verify that I would have never forgiven her for that, and my constant harping on it would have likely led to an eventual divorce.

Once last year’s game was over, I said that they need to somehow separate the Super Bowl from the championship game. Perhaps the NFL can convince people to shift all the fanfare to the Pro Bowl instead? We can have Pro Bowl parties, and then the following week, fans of the two conference champion teams can watch the title game in relative peace.

Squares Pool

Until recently, I hadn’t realized that there were multiple ways to run a football squares pool. I thought you basically did it by quarter – sometimes with the final score being worth an extra share. But my neighbor said that he’s seen it done where you win every time the score changes, and just divide the pot equally at the end of the game based on how many score changes there were.

I think that’s probably a little too confusing, but I’m curious if anyone out there prefers those other rules. After all, I don’t want anyone feeling as bitter as I did about the white elephant rules.

Commercials

Since I won’t be heavily invested in the game, I will get a chance to dedicate some attention to the commercials. As I’ve stated in the past, I hate this whole practice of companies releasing their Super Bowl commercials on the web ahead of time. It’s much better to see them for the first time when they air.

Since I don’t really remember much about the commercials from last year’s game, I decided to re-watch a few of them and provide some Ad Pundit style reviews.

Bud Light

I like Bud Light. Do I like it significantly more than its two main peers, Miller Lite and Coors Light? No. In fact, of the three, I’d rate Coors as my favorite. (And what’s with Miller spelling it “Lite” while the other two are “Light.” Has anyone ever looked into this?)

If I’m in a desperate situation, is the possibility of gaining Bud Light going to make me fight harder? Probably not. But hey, the people of the kingdom seem pretty fired up by it, so maybe I’m just jaded.

It makes me wonder if I missed the boat back in my kickball captaining days. If I had simply told my teammates that they’d get free Bud Light after a win, maybe they’d have played harder, and we would have been more successful.

Then again, the post-game beer was already pretty cheap as is. And some people would show up to the games drunk anyway. So it probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

Dundee

The commercial starts off making us think that there’s going to be a sequel to Crocodile Dundee starring Kenny Powers and Thor. (I’m aware that the actors have real names, but let’s be real here: “Danny McBride” is always going to be known as Kenny Powers no matter what role he plays, and it’s pretty tough to think of “Chris Hemsworth” as anything but Thor. He’s going to be in the new Men in Black movie, and based on the trailers, it’s basically Thor in a black suit.)

The big reveal is that it’s not really a movie trailer, but rather a tourism ad for Australia. We’re supposed to be disappointed by this, but was anyone really that excited to watch a movie with Kenny Powers as Crocodile Dundee’s son? Like I’d probably add it to my Netflix queue or maybe get it from Redbox if everything else was sold out, but am I headed to a theater? Can’t see it happening.

Persil 

A man at a Super Bowl party has a guacamole stain on his shirt, and a friendly man comes out of the TV to help him with it. I have a few questions:

  1. Why is this guy dressed so nicely at a Super Bowl party? I mean, that’s a pretty “business casual” outfit to wear to eat food and watch football.
  2. Now that I take a closer look, all of these people are pretty dressed up for the event. And look at the food on the table! What the hell kind of Super Bowl party is this? Is this how millennials watch football? I mean, the one guy appears to have a sports jersey on – with a blazer on top of it! This is why I’m always skeptical about watching football with people I don’t know. If I showed up to this party, I think I’d want to immediately leave.
  3. How did this guy not realize he had such a large stain on his shirt? It wasn’t like he spilled a little drop. It looks like he dumped an entire chip’s worth of guac onto himself.
  4. Why are these people acting like they have no concept of how to do laundry? It doesn’t seem like the problem is that he doesn’t have Percil, it seems like the problem is that he didn’t think that washing his shirt might remedy the situation. Did the host of the party not have any detergent?

Game Prediction with Idina Menzel

Four years ago, I had famed singer Idina Menzel stop by to help me preview the Super Bowl. It went poorly. Since I’m hopelessly optimistic, I thought that maybe things would go better if I brought her back for a second go round.

Cutter: Hi, Idina.

Menzel: Don’t you mean-

Cutter: Are you kidding me? You’re still insisting people call you Elsa? It’s been six years since that movie came out! Don’t you think it’s time to move on?

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Idina is still insane (Image source)

Menzel: Queen Elsa shall never move on! My popularity remains as strong as ever!

Cutter: Sadly, you might be right. Last time I was in Disney World, that place was completely overrun by Frozen stuff. I asked the people at Norway in Epcot Center if it bothered them that their country was now basically seen as “Frozen Land.”

Cutter: So how about this news that the police arrested you for causing this horrible winter weather?

Menzel: Those are impostors! Elsa would never be taken so easily.

Cutter: I seem to remember Prince Hans’ men taking you captive. (Wait, am I really having this argument?)

Menzel: My powers have grown since then. If they tried now, I would freeze them instantly!

Cutter: Right…so, any thoughts on the game?

Menzel: I much preferred last year’s game which took place in Minneapolis! That reminded me of my homeland of Arendelle.

Cutter: I assume Atlanta will be slightly warmer.

Menzel: And I am happy to see that my good friend Grand Pabby will once again be there.

Cutter: Like I told you before, that’s not Grand Pabby, it’s Bill Belichick.

Menzel: Are you sure? Grand Pabby possesses great magic and can change his appearance.

Cutter: You know what? Maybe you’re onto something. I mean, it is kind of strange that a 41-year-old quarterback is somehow running around in sub-zero temperatures like he’s not even fazed. I’m 41, and I don’t even like going out to the garage when it’s below 50 degrees. I just assumed Brady was on some sort of chemical enhancement, but magic seems like just as likely an explanation.

Menzel: Perhaps you might say the cold never bothered him anyway?

Cutter: No, I might not. Do you have a prediction for the score?

Menzel: Grand Pabby and the Patriots shall once again emerge victorious! The score shall be 35-24!

Cutter: That sounds surprisingly plausible. Are you feeling okay?

Menzel: And afterwards, my army of snow creatures will rise up to challenge the Patriots and claim their title as the true champions of the world!

Cutter: Ah, there it is. Thanks for coming by, Elsa.

In Conclusion

I hope this post has gotten you suitably excited for the big game. And since this is my final post, I’d like to say thanks to all my readers, and I hope the world treats you well! (Or at least until the next time I come out of blogging retirement)

 

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March of the Daddies

For the second year in a row, Mrs. Cutter and I took the family on a trip to Williamsburg, VA to visit the family resort Great Wolf Lodge. If you are unfamiliar with Great Wolf Lodge, it’s a giant hotel packed with children’s activities, including an indoor water park. Children absolutely love it. As for the parents….well, the children are generally happy.

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This audio-animatronic show is just one of the attractions at Great Wolf Lodge

While inside the water park, the difference between genders was on full display. There is one pool which features three small water slides, and the twins both spent a decent amount of time there. When the Cutlass was in the pool, she would take a slow, controlled trip down a slide, slowly wade her way to the side, and then cautiously ascend the stairs to take her next turn.

As for her twin brother…He started off by taking a running leap onto the slide. Then, upon seeing that other kids were going head first, backwards, and sideways, decided to copy their techniques. After reaching the bottom, he would head back to the top of the slide about as frantically as a child could move. He acted like it physically pained him every second he was not on the slide.

All of the kids enjoyed the water park, but if there’s a child who enjoyed himself more than Cujo did, I’d be somewhat frightened to meet him. The look of pure joy that was plastered to the boy’s face was amazing to behold. I told one of the lifeguards that they should use him for the brochure.

Unfortunately, these types of trips aren’t all smiles and water slides. Putting five people – including three children – in one hotel room isn’t always a smooth experience. Thanks to extreme exhaustion, bedtime actually went relatively well for the kids. It didn’t go so well for me.

Due to a dry room and dehydration, I somehow managed to cough myself awake at one point, and then discovered that sleeping on an unfamiliar bed with unfamiliar pillows wasn’t making my neck feel good. I eventually got back to sleep only to be woken up at 1:30 by the Cutlass who had developed a fever.

After a jaunt to the 24-hour Walmart down the road to buy some children’s ibuprofen, I attempted to return to sleep, only to be thwarted by Mrs. Cutter who picked a very bad night to develop a snoring problem. Thanks to my sleep headphones, I was able to block the sound out enough to get some sleep, but I wasn’t exactly feeling refreshed in the morning.

Shortly after, I took place in a ritual I like to call March of the Daddies. In the latter hours of the morning, throughout the resort, men – typically between the ages of 35 to 55 – will emerge from their hotel rooms. They will look fatigued – the type of fatigue you get after spending the previous day or two chasing small children around a water park, and then not getting enough sleep to recover.

These men will be grasping multiple suitcases in their hands, with perhaps an additional bag or two slung over their arms. One of the bags will inevitably bear the likeness of a popular cartoon character, and more often than not, it will be bright pink. In many cases, the men will also gripping an oversized stuffed animal.

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So much luggage (Image source)

The lucky ones will be unaccompanied; others will have a child (or two) by their side, asking repetitive questions about what they were doing, where they were going, or when they could go to back to the water park.

The men will slowly proceed from their rooms to the parking lot. Some may be able to take the stairs. The less fortunate will have to wait for the elevator, which will assuredly have a lengthy queue. In most instances, despite their bulky payloads, the men will require multiple trips to get everything into the car.

Once the luggage and other supplies have been loaded, and the car’s doors have been slammed shut, the men will let out a sigh of relief and enjoy a brief moment of relaxation. The moment is all too brief, because even though this stage of the March of the Daddies is complete, for most fathers, the March never truly ends.

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The Penultimate Ramble

Since the status of The Cutter Rambles is assuredly the utmost concern in most of my readers’ lives, I wanted to provide an update as to what is going on with the old blog. It might have been slightly confusing when I made an unheralded return to blogging in December, and then after 31 straight days of posts, I just as quietly stopped posting.

As mentioned in my Christmas Day chat with Michael BublĂ©, the quality of my posts in December was not especially high, and I soon realized that revitalizing the blog was not the best idea I’ve ever had. (For those of you who are curious, the best idea I ever had was to create a competitor to Pets.com that targeted the American Indian market. Like most of my good ideas, I never followed through, so if any of you are the ambitious sort, you’re welcome to steal it.)

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Remember Pets.com?

I thought it might be fun to revive my tradition of posting something every day in the month of December, but in hindsight, I should have left things as they were. But now that I added another month’s worth of posts, it probably wouldn’t make sense to go back to my previous finale post.

Instead, I’m going to close things out next week with a very special Super Bowl LIII preview post. There will be special guests, commercial reviews, and in-depth discussion of topics that only tangentially relate to the big game. (In other words, even if you’re not a sports fan, you can still read it.)

Once that’s done, the blog will once again go into a state of permanent hiatus. (Or at least until I get really fired up about another topic, or I once again idiotically convince myself that “it’ll be fun to blog every day.”) After that, you’ll still be able to browse the archives, and relive all the good times (like all the times my kids pooped on me!) until I begin my political career and take the site down to avoid convenient opposition research. (Am I joking? Maybe!)

Anyway, thanks to everyone who still reads this blog after all these years. Even though my December output wasn’t spectacular, I’d like to hope I provided you with a few minutes of mindless time-killing along the way!

 

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More Than Meets the Eye

Cujo received a Transformers Bumblebee action figure for Christmas, and he absolutely loves it. As a result, he asked to see the new Bumblebee movie, but after some thought, I decided that it might be a little too advanced for a 4-year-old. Instead, I was going to show him the animated movie from the ’80s, since that seemed more age appropriate. Then I realized that I couldn’t make the movie his first exposure to the Transformers.

Optimus Prime famously dies in the movie (Sorry for the spoiler) which was quite the traumatic experience for many people of my generation. It wouldn’t be right for him to watch that without first watching the two seasons and building up an emotional attachment to Optimus (as well as the other characters who die). Otherwise, his death won’t carry the proper gravitas.

Fortunately, I found the cartoon series on the Tubi app, and allowed the kids to watch the first few episodes this morning. Cujo was quite enthralled, and he girls also seemed to enjoy the show, although not having accompanying toys, I’m not sure if they were quite as into it.

Hopefully his Bumblebee figure doesn’t meet the same fate as my Optimus Prime figure. Years ago, when my parents sold their house, I donated most of my old toys. Yet, I couldn’t bear to part with Optimus, which was one of my most beloved childhood possessions.

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Optimus Prime – in happier times

Unfortunately, a few years ago, the Cutlet had some friends over, and despite knowing that it was supposed to be off-limits, they played with Optimus. Inevitably, they broke off his leg.

Don’t worry, this story may have a happy ending yet. On Christmas Day, seeing Cujo playing so happily with his Transformer, I decided to check EBay to see if I could locate a replacement Optimus. Fortunately, there was a re-issue of the original 1984 toy listed at an affordable price, so I bought myself a present. He should arrive in a couple of weeks, and my nostalgia fix will be sated.

I’m just going to be sure to keep him on a higher shelf this time around.

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Deja Vu for the Eagles

Ten years ago, the Philadelphia Eagles were in a desperate situation. It was week 17, and not only did they need to win their game against the Dallas Cowboys to make the playoffs, they needed about three other games to go their way as well.

Naturally, all of those things happened, rendering their game a “Win and in” game in which the winner would make the playoffs, and the loser would stay home. What followed was one of the greatest games in Eagles history:

The Eagles not only made the playoffs, but they won two games before eventually falling in the NFC Championship Game.

Ten years later, and the Eagles were once again in a desperate situation. As of this morning, in order to secure a playoff spot, the Eagles would not only need to beat the Washington Redskins, but also have the Chicago Bears defeat the Minnesota Vikings.

Beating the Redskins was the easy part. The Redskins were eliminated from the playoffs weeks ago, and had a quarterback who was unemployed when the season began. The game was played in the Redskins’ stadium, but hordes of Eagles fans made the journey, making it a virtual home game.

The Eagles dominated throughout, and came away with a 24-0 win. While watching the game at the bar, as an Eagles win became more certain, my attention began to wander from the Eagles game to check in on how the Vikings vs. Bears contest was progressing. To my delight, it was progressing well.

The Bears had opened up a lead on the Vikings, and the Vikings looked incapable of making a comeback. As the minutes wound down, and it became clear that the Vikings were going to lose, I celebrated with my fellow Eagles fans. The dream of back-to-back Super Bowl titles remained alive for another week.

The path back to the Super Bowl is going to be tough. Unlike last season when the Eagles had to only win two home games, this year they’ll have to win three straight on the road. It certainly won’t be easy, but its’ not supposed to be easy to win a Super Bowl. Besides, I’ve got plenty of time to worry about the Eagles’ playoff game. Tonight, I’m just going to go to bed happy that the team is (miraculously) still alive.

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ZooLights

Every December, the National Zoo in Washington DC holds a ZooLights event where they decorate the grounds with Christmas lights and allow visitors to walk the grounds after sundown. We had never attended before, but with the weather looking nice on Saturday night, Mrs. Cutter and I decided to take the family for a holiday treat.

Zoo1

Unfortunately, it seemed that just about everyone else in the DC area had the same idea. We couldn’t find an open parking lot, and for a few precarious minutes, it looked like we might not even make it out of the car. Fortunately, we came across a nearby California Tortilla where we were able to both park and get dinner.

Once we endured the several block walk to the Zoo entrance, the kids were happy. They enjoyed seeing the various lights, and they were completely transfixed by a laser light show display. Unfortunately, the majority of the things to do were located at the far end of the zoo which was a downhill walk. That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that every step we took downhill meant an uphill step on the way back.

Zoo2

Despite the crowd, and not being able to see everything the zoo had to offer, it was a worthwhile trip. The lights were beautiful, and the kids were entertained with a minimum of whining or complaining. If we go again next year, we just may have to try to go during the week.

Zoo3

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No More Scarves

My herniated disc has caused my life to change in several ways. Perhaps the most significant of those changes is that I no longer wear a scarf every day. (Dramatic pause as you all gasp in shock.)

I believe it was 2005 when Mrs. Cutter gave me a hand-knit powder blue scarf as a present. It was a nice scarf so I began to wear it. And by wear it, I mean, that during the colder months, I would wear it every day. While most people would only wear a knit scarf when they were going outside into the cold weather, I would keep mine on all day long. (Except when cooking – I almost had a scarf catch fire on the stove a couple of times.)

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Scarves no longer adorn my neck. (Image source)

Over the years, my collection increased as people either made or gave me a few additional scarves. I would generally choose that day’s scarf based on its color and how well it matched the outfit I was wearing. (And people say I don’t have a fashion sense!)

This past November, as the weather got colder, I once again broke out the scarves. However, after a few days, I started to notice that my neck and back were feeling worse than usual at the end of the work day, and I felt palpable relief when I took my scarf off. I suspected that they were causing poor posture which was putting extra strain on my neck.

As sad as it was, I realized I had to stop wearing the scarves. I will still break one out for the occasional social event, but my day-to-day life is generally scarf-free. I’ve generally been okay with the change, although my neck does feel somewhat naked at times.

It’s just one more reminder than getting old sucks.

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Ad Pundit: Fat Boys and Swatch

If you didn’t grow up during the ’80’s, I’m afraid today’s commercial will not make much sense. On the other hand, if you were coming off age during the Reagan years, it will likely fill you with a strange sense of nostalgia that you didn’t know you were capable of feeling.

You may remember Swatch watches. They were cheap and colorful, and just about every pre-teen and teenager had at least one. I recall them being especially popular Bar and Bat Mitzvah gifts. (In hindsight, I should have gotten one for my nephew.) They’re still around today, but as far as I can tell, their popularity has fallen, at least in America.

As for the Fat Boys, they were over-sized rappers from the ’80’s who had a few hits like “Wipeout” and “Are You Ready for Freddy?” It only made sense for these two to team up for a Christmas commercial.

We start out at a boring dinner party. Nobody is having fun, and that’s apparently because they’re all wearing old, boring watches. Thankfully, a few large visitors are about to show up and change all that.

The Fat Boys jump down from a plane, arrive at the party and start turning that mother out. Some of the guests are clearly excited by these new arrivals, and have proceeded to get their groove on. Others are not as thrilled, like the glass-dropping woman here:

FatBoys1

Well I never!

Overall, I’d say the Fat Boys and Swatch have had a net positive effect on the party. Sure, a few old people were offended by the arrival of minorities, and a few glasses got broken, but we also got a group pose:

FatBoys2

As for those of you who have no idea about anything that’s gone on here, I apologize.

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Nuts and Gum

After being called out by Michael BublĂ© for not writing about anything substantial, I think it may be time to discuss a political issue. Now that 2018 is just about over, I think it’s fair to say that the year was quite a shit show when it came to American politics. Rock bottom may have come during the whole Brett Kavanaugh affair, when a man who was credibly accused of committing sexual assault was placed on the highest court in the nation.

There was outrage on both sides. Reasonable people Liberals were upset because there was enough evidence against Kavanaugh to think that maybe they should have found a different nominee. Others were concerned because if a seemingly respectable white man like Brett Kavanaugh could be accused of misdeeds, then anyone could be accused. These people used these accusations as evidence of a continuing war on white men in America.

It seems that there’s a sizable group of white people who think there’s some sort of campaign against them. They hear stories of minorities receiving welfare and the benefits of affirmative action, and they think it’s a sign that white people are falling behind. They hear things like “Press 1 for English” or see the #MeToo movement, and wonder how things changed to the point where white men were treated so unfairly.

It’s all bullshit of course. White men don’t want equality. White men want nuts and gum.

I’ve written before that America has basically turned into the Springfield of the Simpsons. For example, remember this clip?

The “best” part is that this works for white men all along the socio-economic spectrum. The well-to-do crowd doesn’t want things to change, because like Homer said, it’s nice to have all the advantages, no matter how stupid or otherwise unworthy you are. If you’re used to having all the advantages, an equal playing field can seem unfairly tilted against you.

For the less fortunate, they’re wondering why they’re not feeling the effects of this supposed “white privilege.” If white people are supposedly so well off and powerful, then why are they struggling to make ends meet, and why does the government seem so determined to help everyone else?

Unfortunately, this sentiment is – and remains – strong enough that a thoroughly unqualified and incompetent man was clever enough to tap into it, and used it to win a presidential election. If you happen to be one of the people who voted for it, all I can say is: I hope your nuts and gum taste good.

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Yet Another Christmas Day Interview with Michael BublĂ©

Since this blog made its unheralded return on December 1st, I’m sure there’s been one question on the minds of all my longtime readers: Would there be another interview with pop singer Michael Bublé on Christmas Day? And the answer to that question is: Yes!

Back once again to talk about Christmas and a variety of other topics is everyone’s favorite Canadian pop singer Michael BublĂ©!

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Another year of sitting down with Michael Bublé on Christmas (Image source)

Cutter: Hey, Michael! It’s been a couple of years. How have you been?

MB: Sigh…I’ve been fine.

Cutter: Just fine? It seems like your family has had a lot of good news lately.

MB: Yes, we have.

Cutter: Okay then what’s wrong?

MB: Nothing’s “wrong,” I’m just wondering why we’re doing this.

Cutter: This interview? We always talk on Christmas.

MB: Except that we didn’t the past two years. You know after we had our goodbye talk and you wrapped up your blog with a satisfying conclusion?

Cutter: You may remember that I always said I might bring the blog back again one day?

MB: But why? What’s the point? I’ve been reading some of these posts, and at the risk of being especially blunt, you haven’t exactly been writing world-changing stuff here. Maybe if you had brought back the 2015 version of the blog, I could understand. But that’s has been more like the 2011 version.

Cutter: Is there a huge difference?

MB: Yes. In 2015, you actually tried to write interesting posts that a general audience might want to read. In 2011, it was a glorified diary with limited appeal. And that’s what the 2018 version has basically been.

Cutter: You’re saying you haven’t enjoyed reading about my stomach illnesses or back pain?

MB: Oh yeah, that’s been super riveting. Let me tell you, I wake up early every morning anxiously awaiting to hear about your next physical ailment.

Cutter: Okay, I get it. I’ve had some “deeper” posts planned, but they take time, and if I want to get something up each day, it’s usually got to be short and quick.

MB: Even then, why are you doing this?

Cutter: I guess part of me just missed writing. I got nostalgic for the days of writing a blog post every day in December, so I decided to try it again. I’ll admit that it hasn’t been as much fun as I hoped.

MB: If you missed writing, why didn’t you work on your novel like you said you were going to do last year?

Cutter: I tried. It didn’t work. For whatever reason, I couldn’t do it. I’ve resigned myself that it’s never going to happen.

MB: You’re just giving up?

Cutter: Yes, I’ve given up! I tried a bunch of things to get myself to write the novel on a consistent basis, and none of them took. Maybe in a different life, I’d figure out a way to actually write the damn thing, but in this one, I’m simply not going to be a novelist.

MB: That’s sad.

Cutter: It’s not all bad. I am getting paid to write about the Phillies again, and that’s been fun.

MB: Congrats on that, I suppose.

Cutter: Well, since we apparently don’t have anything else to say to each other, is there anything you’d like to say to the readers?

MB: Just hope everyone out there is having a joyous and wonderful holiday season.

Cutter: Well said. Merry Christmas to all my readers!

 

 

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