Happy Birthday to Me

I lied.  I told people that this was going to be a post about competitiveness in recreational sports.  But when I started writing that, I began to get way too involved, and it became obvious that I wouldn’t be able to really do it properly from my workplace.

So instead, I’m gonna write a happy post about my birthday which is tomorrow.

Yeah, last year I turned 30 and that was the big milestone.  Turning 31 isn’t really too special, aside from the fact that I’ve survived another year on the planet. 

It’s been a pretty solid year though.  Sure, it sucked not being able to sleep for most of the year due to our upstairs neighbors, but they’re gone now and things have been much better recently.  The Phillies finally made it back to the playoffs even if they did get swept in the first round.  I got a new job which is going decently well.  And Mrs. Cutter and I welcomed new additions to our family with our collection of fish.  We also have new kitchen counters, and that alone would make any year a good one.

Having a summer birthday has been both good and bad for me over the years.  As a child, because it was hot out, I used to have my friends over for birthday parties and we’d play soccer and wiffle ball in my back yard.   People with winter birthdays were stuck doing stuff like going bowling.  Even now, its nice to know that there’s probably going to be warm weather in case I want to do something fun.

On the other hand, as a school child, I never got to celebrate my birthday in class.  I never got the joy of bringing in cupcakes for all my classmates (My mother probably wasn’t quite as upset) and be the center of attention.  And for whatever reason, many people are away on vacation the second week in August.

I’ve had a few lousy birthdays over the years:

For my 19th birthday, I was supposed to go to Dorney Park with my father and friend, but it rained, so we weren’t able to go.  That night, I was stuck drinking cheap liquor in my basement with some of my friends, but one of them couldn’t handle the stuff and threw up in the basement.

On my 21st birthday, my friends ran out of money, and I ended up buying them drinks for most of the night.  The next morning, I played softball, and played horrendously bad.

On my 26th birthday, we were out in Adams Morgan when it started pouring, and I got split up from my friends.  Mrs. Cutter and I ended up soaking wet, sitting in the 1819 Club, freezing our asses off watching subpar strippers.

Fortunately, most of my birthdays have been pretty fun.  Some highlights:

For my 11th birthday, my friends came over for a party, we played the home version of Double Dare (I set up an obstacle course in my basement) and watched the movie Leonard Part 6! 

My 18th birthday was fun as well, as I went to a local carnival.  After it hit midnight, I bought some cigars to smoke with my friends, and then we drove around trying to find a place that sold porn.  Sadly, we were not successful.

My 27th was pretty good, as I had dinner at Damon’s restaurant with my family and then went out with friends to Adams Morgan.  Somehow, I was one of the least drunk of the group.  One of my friends, we’ll call him Squinty passed out on my couch, and had to throw up the next morning.  For shame.

Tomorrow, we’re going on an unofficial bar crawl of Bethesda.  It should be a drunken good time.

I conclude with the Top Five Birthday Gifts I’ve Received:

5. Moose mugs – You know those moose mugs that they drink out of in the movie Christmas Vacation?  I had wanted them for awhile, and finally Mrs. Cutter got them for me last year! 

4. Metroplex – The Autobot City.  Basically, it was a really big Transformer.  And when it came to Transformers, bigger is almost always better.

3. Donovan McNabb jersey – Mrs. Cutter was correct in her choice of buying me a jersey of a player who’d show longevity.  This is generally what I’ve worn every Sunday during football season since 2001, except when I get really frustrated with McNabb and refuse to wear it.

2. Spider-Man Big Wheel – As a five year old, you didn’t exactly have a lot of status symbols.  Having a kick ass Big Wheel was about it.  I rode this thing into the ground.  And then of course, while in Ocean City, my father left it outside and it got stolen.  I believe some tears may have followed.

1. Voltron – This was a set of five metallic lions that combined to form a giant robot.  I don’t think I have to elaborate why I thought this was so awesome as a seven year old.  I think the toy was eventually recalled due to lead paint or something, but it didn’t matter to me at the time because I had f’n Voltron!  “And I’ll form the head!”

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About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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4 Responses to Happy Birthday to Me

  1. Mrs. Cutter says:

    I’m a little disappointed that my gifts to you did not rank above #3.

  2. treachx says:

    Keep in mind that you’ve only been giving me gifts for 7 years now. My parents have 31 years worth of gifts for me to choose from. And really, how can you top cherished childhood possessions?

  3. Austin's Owner says:

    Happy birthday

    Too bad you can’t give the gift of a stripper on Facebook, which I’ve now pathetically discovered how to use

  4. Squinty says:

    That was a good night, I actually played softball the next morning while wearing cargo shorts and being really hungover

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