The Cruise – Part Three: Great Stirrup Cay and the Whores of the Open Air

For day three, Mrs. Cutter and I chose to have room service delivered to our room so that we could eat breakfast on the balcony. The problem was that with all the food and drink we had consumed the night before, neither of us was especially hungry. Still, the weather was nice, and it was pleasant to just sit outside. On the TVs in the ship’s rooms, they show the previous night’s entertainment in a constant cycle, so we got to watch ourselves on stage at the Newlywed Game. Despite the entire ship now thinking I have flatulence issues, I still think I had good stage presence.

The ship was anchored just off Great Stirrup Cay, and we would be going to the private island owned by Norwegian Cruise Lines. Basically, the passengers on our ship would have full run of the island. We got on board one of the first tender boats to the island, and were able to stake out some good beach chairs. As more and more people came over from the boat, this would become crucial, as the beach got pretty crowded.

Once we reached the beach, we signed up for a 2:30 session of parasailing, and then grabbed a life vest, flippers, and snorkel so we could go snorkeling in the ocean. While there wasn’t as much to see as in Hawaii, its still kind of cool to snorkel and see all the fish. The day was especially hot, and I don’t typically do well with too much sun, so after a few hours, I was feeling a bit done in. But I still had to wait around until it was time to go parasailing.

I had wanted to get a bunch of us together to play in the volleyball tournament, but nobody else from the group wanted to play with me. That’s because they all suck. Anyway, I joined a team with Vinnie and Julie from the Newlywed Game, but we got crushed. It might have helped had one guy on our team actually been paying attention instead of talking to his girlfriend.

Finally, it was time for the parasailing. Mrs. Cutter, Flasher, and I boarded a small boat which took us a little bit offshore. You could have two people go at the same time, so Mrs. Cutter and I went in tandem. I had expected it to feel like we were moving really fast, but instead, its more like you’re just floating in the air. Quite a plesant experience.

Once we got back, I was exhausted, so we boarded a tender boat back to the cruise ship, and after showering, I passed out in bed for a couple hours until it was time for dinner. We then met up with several others for dinner, and then up to the main showroom to see the ship’s comedian. He was a magician/comedian, and while he had some funny bits, overall, he was just OK. Some people found him to be a bit annoying.

Afterwards, we headed up to the Outrigger Lounge where we would take part in the game they call The Quest. For The Quest, people formed teams, and the host would say an item, and one member of the team would have to race to the stage with that item. At first it was simple things like a business card. And then, things got a bit more interesting.

First, after saying he wouldn’t participate, when they needed to see a tatoo, Squinty raced up to the stage to show off his ankle tattoo. And when they needed to see two men holding hands, Hagar and V-Neck were especially eager to go up there. And after they were seen, for some reason they didn’t let go of each other’s hands. V-Neck and I also went up there when they needed to see two men dirty dance with each other. I think Hagar was a bit disappointed he didn’t get to go. I also managed to hurt my knee when they needed to see someone do the worm, and I was so enthusiastic that I banged my knee pretty hard on the wood floor.

The best moment might have come when they needed to see a man wearing two bras on his head. A few of the girls took their bras off under their shirts. Flasher had a different idea. She whipped off her shirt and took off her bra. And hence that is where the nickname came from. Someone might have helped her put her shirt back on, but I think everyone was laughing too hard.

At one point, they needed a guy to go up wearing a bra, lipstick, and women’s shoes. Let me tell you, Hagar was one of the prettiest men up on stage.  Apparently, it was quite the ordeal for him to get the lipstick out of his goatee.

After that, we sat around drinking and talking for awhile. A few of us wandered down to the ship’s toga party, but nobody seemed to be too into it. We also found the infamous Latitudes Lounge, but apparently nobody was up for having an orgy there. Basically, most of us were tired out so we made our way to our beds to go to sleep.

The next day, disembarkation was at 9:00, so we had an early breakfast and made our way off the boat and caught a shuttle back to the Ft. Lauderdale. Most of us had flights for later in the day, but fortunately, we were all able to change to earlier flights so we wouldn’t be sitting around the airport all day.

Fortunately, we decided against buying any duty free alcohol, because that would have required us to check a bag. And that would have cost $15 extra because U.S. Airways have become the official whores of the open air. Not only do they charge $15 for each bag checked, they also charge $2 per drink (yes, $2 for non alcoholic drinks) on board, they now have ads on their tray tables, and mid-flight, their flight attendants have to make a ten minute sales pitch trying to get you to buy a credit card.  At least the flight went smoothly, and we got home relatively easily.

Overall, the cruise was an excellent time. I’d definitely like to do it again some day.

I will conclude with my Top Five Things About the Cruise:

5. Winning sports trivia – Because its always nice to win. Plus, we got free key chains!

4. Singing karaoke – Yeah, I rocked the house. And cock blocked Squinty along the way.

3. Parasailing – It was cool just floating up in the air.

2. Lounging around the pool – It’s nice being able to just lie around, go to sleep, go swimming, or grab food whenever you want. It was funny when a mother was chasing her child around, and looked at us enviously saying “Wow, you guys are able to just sit around and relax.”

1. Winning the Newlywed Game – This is basically what my entire marriage has been leading up to!

About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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One Response to The Cruise – Part Three: Great Stirrup Cay and the Whores of the Open Air

  1. Pingback: Five Years!!! | The Cutter Rambles

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