Important Thoughts on a Few Subjects

Star Wars

Why do they provide subtitles for some of the aliens, but not others?  For instance, they give us subtitles when Jabba the Hutt is speaking, but not Chewbacca.  Chewie has quite a few lines throughout the trilogy, and wouldn’t it be useful for us to know what he’s saying? 

Also, we have to figure that Han and others can understand the Wookie language since they regularly converse with him.  But it seems like they’re always speaking in English (or whatever the main language in Star Wars is.)  Is the Wookie language simply too difficult for a human to replicate, and that’s why you never hear the humans speak in it?  Since C-3PO’s main function is as a translator, why is he not able to speak Wookie?  You’d have to figure that a robot would be able to synthesize the same voice patterns.

The Tortoise and the Hare

I recently learned that rabbits and hares were actually two different types of animal.  So in the old Bugs Bunny cartoons, when they would reference Bugs as a hare, they were being factually incorrect. 

Anyway, we all know the story of the tortoise and the hare, where the two animals have a race, and the hare gets off to such a big lead that he takes a break and allows the tortoise to pass him.  The moral of the story has always been presented as “Slow and steady wins the race.”  And it is supposed to be inspiring to people, making them think that no matter how imposing their opponent seems, if they keep trying, they’ll eventually win.  But the story is actually sending the message that underdogs will only prevail if your opponent is an idiot.  The real morals of the story are “Don’t be a dumbass” and “When you’re off to a big lead, keep pressing so that your opponent can’t catch up.”

Why would the hare take a break in the middle of the race?  I mean, he could have just coasted to the finish at half speed and then rested there.  There is no logical explanation for the hare to do this, except that he was a complete idiot.  I liken it to sports teams that take big leads in games.  You need to keep playing hard until the game is completely out of reach.  A lot of teams get out to big leads and then tone it down and allow the other team to catch up.

Putting the toilet seat down

For some reason, as a society, we’ve decided that when men and women share a bathroom, the toilet seat should be left down before and after use.  Who exactly decided this?  Yes, ladies, we know that toilet seats are not sanitary and you don’t want to have to put it down before using.  But why should men always be the ones who have to touch it?  Isn’t is just as unsanitary for us?  I mean, unless you’d rather us not lift the seat and just let the pee go where it may.  And look at it this way: When putting the toilet seat down, you’ve got gravity on your side! 

And please do not counter with the argument that you just assume that the seat is down, and if its not, you might fall in by accident.  Falling into the toilet does not merit sympathy; it merits ridicule.

Other thoughts

– The band Foreigner really kinda rocks.

– The latest season of Heroes is almost over. This show is almost painful to watch anymore.  They should just make the show all about Sylar since he’s the only character worth watching anymore.

– The NFL Draft is this weekend.  I’ll be glad when its over, as I really can’t take much more speculation about who each team will draft.  How does one become an NFL draft expert anyway?  They really only work a couple of days a year, and despite their “expertise,” they’re almost always wrong.  I’ve long said that ESPN draft “guru” Mel Kiper is basically the same thing as Santa Claus.

Mrs. Cutter and I are off to Florida tomorrow.  Detailed review of the trip to come when we return!

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About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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2 Responses to Important Thoughts on a Few Subjects

  1. Squinty says:

    C-3PO was a protocol droid, and his primary function was not translating despite the fact that Bocce is like a second language to him. The reason Chewbacca is not translated is because of the way everyone responds to him, nearly repeating what he said where as with Jabba you must hear him to understand the situation. More importantly, why doesn’t Jabba speak English when his Uncle Ziro does, and why do they give nearly every droid the ability to speak English yet Astromechs don’t? All I know is these are clearly NOT the droids I’m looking for.

    As for the toilet seat, I completely agree except for those of us that have had a kitten that was a little too curious and fell in, thus requiring me to always put the lid down, but this was more of a safety concern than an ethical one. A better ethical question is do I give you the ass or the crotch?

  2. OU812 says:

    The Jabba/Ziro thing is an interesting conundrum if looked at face value. Ziro is obviously the more cosmopolitan/tranny of the Hutt brothers. You probably wouldn’t get too far on Coruscant without an ability to speak English.

    As for Astromech’s not speaking english – well that’s easy…Ever see meaning of life by Monty Python? Astromech’s are stuffed. Even if that language processor was ‘waffer thin’ they would just burst. Look at all the other crap they have in there (i.e. jet packs, oil slick, shocker thing).

    As for Wookies – Well, a wookie is a very intelligent dog. Do you need someone to translate for you what your dog wants? No, of course not, he wants 3 things (maybe 4), he wants food, attention, to play, and to hump your leg. Wookies probably want those things too – but maybe a few other things that are easy enough to understand through growling such as – Why do you always screw up fixing the hyperdrive; are you going to throw 3PO out the airlock or am I?; Stop stepping on my fur, it’s attached; Don’t you think about putting those binders on me, I’m not your bitch – and so on.

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