Mrs. Cutter’s Birthday Celebration

So before I write about the 2nd half of our Florida trip, I’ll recap the celebration we had for Mrs. Cutter’s birthday.

Mrs. Cutter reached a milestone birthday last week, and wasn’t especially pleased about it.  So to help her enjoy her day, I planned a bar crawl on Saturday where we would hit some of her old favorite drinking establishments in DC.

However, Saturday was already going to be a busy day.  First, we had a football game in the morning.  Despite the threat of rain, the worst we got was a little bit of a drizzle.  The field wasn’t in prime condition though, and on one play, I definitely did something to my leg as my knee and hamstring and pretty sore.  And unfortunately, our team fell behind early and wasn’t able to catch up, and we fell to 0-3.  We’re not doing that poorly, as two of our losses have been by a touchdown or less.  I feel confident that our first win is forthcoming. 

Anyway, after the game (and some tasty postgame cupcakes), we had to rush home, and then head to McFadden’s for a flip cup tournament hosted by the Flip Cup Guys.  Some of our friends are members of a flip cup team called the Two Finger Fanatics, who win pretty much every flip cup tournament they are entered in.  However, most of that team was helping to host and run this particular event, so the heavy favorite was not there, opening things up for others.  Even more fortunate for Mrs. Cutter and myself, some of the members of that team were not helping to run things and would be playing on our team.

Our team – cleverly named “Below Me” – did fairly well in the early round robin part of the tournament, going 13-2 and earning a three seed in the seeded, single elimination part of the tournament.  I’ve referred to myself as the “Robert Horry of Flip Cup” in the past and I lived up to that moniker here.  My teammates were playing well, so I played well.  We pretty much breezed through the tournament, never really getting tested.  Maybe it helped that the top seeded team got upset by the lowest seeded team, but really, we would have smoked them too.

Anyway, our prize was getting to play a free season of kickball (Guess I’m playing in the Fall!) as well as free entry into the World Series of Flip Cup (which I’ll be away for).  We also got a giant glass mug filled with beer.  Which made perfect sense, because whenever I try to limit my drinking, people seem to always give me free beer.  I was trying to limit drinking because we did have a bar crawl ahead of us, and I knew that Mrs. Cutter was going to be absolutely wrecked when it was over.  So I wanted to at least be somewhat coherent.

Once the tournament concluded, we headed over to Lindy’s Red Lion to start the bar crawl.  The Red Lion makes some tasty burgers, so Mrs. Cutter had a veggie burger.  This was crucial, as if she did not eat, she might not have survived.  I never actually ate lunch, but rather had a full meal consisting of people’s leftovers.  It brought me back to my college days as sometimes I would never actually order food, and only scavenge.

Our next stop was supposed to be Froggy Bottom Pub, but apparently, they really didn’t want our business.  They told us that the upstairs bar/restaurant was closed for a private event, but they didn’t seem inclined to open the basement bar either.  I guess they didn’t want a bunch of people drinking there on a Saturday afternoon.  Their loss.

We skipped over to the Madhatter.  I’m happy to report that the bathrooms there still smell awful.  What’s more disturbing is that I still can’t pinpoint what exactly makes it smell so bad.  We watched the Kentucky Derby there.  I had figured that I Want Revenge was a lock to win, but after he was scratched in the morning, I had no clue.  I would have made some decent money if I had bet on the eventual winner, Mine That Bird.

The next stop was Sign of the Whale.  Since this bar is largely unremarkable, we didn’t stay especially long.

Next, we decided to do a shot honoring Mr. Days.  Mr. Days was the best bar in DC during our college years, but sadly it closed not long after I graduated.  The current incarnation in Virginia is far inferior.  I brought along a thermos filled with rum and we ventured into the alley where the bar used to be.  Since most people on the crawl didn’t go to school with us, they were a bit confused as to why we were drinking straight rum in an alley.  I had to assure some of them that it was not an elaborate plan to rape everyone.

Next, we went over to Mackeys Public House.  At this point, I began trying to stab certain people in the kidney.  I wasn’t just being drunk and stupid.  These people were all involved in the abduction of my kickball team’s mascot and had it coming.  Next time, I’ll use a steak knife.  That’ll teach them.

Miraculously, Mrs. Cutter was still doing OK at this time, so we got on the Metro to head over to the kickball party at Hamilton’s and My Brother’s Place.  The party had a Cinco de Mayo theme, and apparently, Mrs. Cutter got to take some swings at a pinata.  I missed all this, and in fact didn’t know where she was, until she stumbled over to my table, collapsed on me and told me she was really, really wasted.

I realized that this meant it was time to go, so we stumbled back to the Metro and took the long ride home.  Not surprisingly, Mrs. Cutter wasn’t feeling all that great when she awoke in the morning, but all in all, she could have been much worse.

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About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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4 Responses to Mrs. Cutter’s Birthday Celebration

  1. Ms. Dramamine says:

    so do we know who stole our mascot?

  2. BGLT says:

    I don’t think the shot we did was rum…I think it was gasoline.

  3. Ryan says:

    I love that you drank in the alley where Days used to be, that is classic.

  4. Sweaty says:

    My favorite parts of this event was Mrs. Cutter’s reaction to the present that Red and her Gold Cup cohorts gave to Mrs. Cutter at Mackeys, and the reaction that Mrs. Cutter had when I texted you to see if she was still alive the next morning. Yes, I know the latter wasn’t that funny, but to me it was hilarious. Oh, and a shout out to Mackey’s Beef Brisket Sandwich: Mackey’s makes the second best brisket in DC.

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