New Moon

Apparently, today is the most important day of the year for females in America: The opening of New Moon, the second movie in the Twilight franchise.

Sadly, I actually had a moment where I was watching a commercial, and thought to myself “Whoa, this actually looks kind of cool.”  I mean, it had guys turning into wolves and fighting vampires.  On the surface that seems like a good basis for a movie.  But then I realized that if adolescent (and well past adolescent) girls are so into this, the ass kicking scenes are probably a very minor part of the movie.  If I were to watch the movie, I’d probably miss the cool scenes because I would have clawed my eyes out from all the dreck in between.

It’s kind of like if they marketed The Terminator as a great love story.  Sure, the relationship between Kyle Reese and Sarah Conner is very touching, but if anyone went to see the movie to see a romantic drama, they would be quite surprised by what they ended up seeing.

It’s kind of like when they kept showing commercials for Marley and Me during football games last year.  They were advertising it as a fun, guys movie.  “Hey guys, you like Owen Wilson!  Well he’s doing funny stuff and there’s a dog!”  I’m just wondering if it’s possible for someone to make a movie based around a dog where the dog doesn’t die in the end?  Aren’t movies with dogs supposed to be fun and uplifiting?  So why do they always end on a sad note???

One good thing about the Twilight movies is that they have done a good job in bringing out the latent perviness of women.  For years, women have criticized guys when they talk about how hot an underage actress is.  Yet, all I hear my girl friends talking about now is how hot the guy in Twilight is, and how they wish he was of age.  Girls, just know this is how guys felt about the Olsen twins back in the day.  (Not me, of course.  I find them both to be kind of repulsive.  I imagine it’d be like f***ing a skeleton)  And I want you all to keep this in mind the next time guys start discussing Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA” video. (This deserves a blog of it’s own.  I mean, if this is considered wholesome entertainment for children, then I shudder to think what my kids will be watching)

Also, can any women out there explain to me why Robert Pattinson is considered hot?  Apparently, being unattractive is now the standard for hotness in America?  Makes me glad to be married since I apparently have no clue what women are after.

Anyway, I’m sure this movie is going to do great business.  And remember, if you like the movie, you can also buy these related products:


About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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4 Responses to New Moon

  1. Mrs. Cutter says:

    Jacob makes me feel dirty. He’s so underage yet so hot at the same time. I kind of wonder why everyone finds RPat so hot too. He definitely is not what I would consider an attractive guy. Give me Jason Stackhouse from True Blood any day!

    BTW – I want the sparkling dildo for Christmas, please add it to my gift list.

  2. Robin says:

    Yes, the previews are misleading, the books are better, and I agree with Mrs. Cutter, Jacob is hot.

    Still laughing about the glitter dildo. Try

  3. Alena says:

    RPattz is okay, but he was cuter as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter. But Jacob… hello, break me a piece off of that (I’m already going to hell for various reasons, so I don’t feel TOO bad about perving on an underage boy).

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