A few random items…
– First off, a quick commercial analysis:
There’s the new DiGiorno’s commercial advertising their new breadsticks. Basically, a guy has invited his friends over and they’ve tracked dirty footprints all over the carpet. His wife is understandably upset about his, but he gets out of it by explaining that it was the pizza delivery guy who made the mess. She believes him because there were breasdticks, and not knowing about DiGiorno’s new breadsticks, she assumes that there must have been a delivery.
Obviously, the people who wrote this commercial are not married.
Here’s how this situation plays out in real life:
Her: What the f*** happened to our carpet???
Him: Oh, it was the pizza delivery guy.
Her: The pizza delivery guy? Why was he walking all over the carpet? Why didn’t you make him take his shoes off?
Her: We just had the carpets cleaned! How you could let this happen?
Her: And the footprints are everywhere! And I can see your shoes are dirty! It wasn’t the pizza delivery guy, it was you and your stupid friends.
Her: Are you guys stupid? Didn’t you notice that you were tracking dirt all over the floor?
Him: Not really.
Her: Well, you’d better start cleaning it up!
– What’s going on with Buzz Aldrin? Does he need money or something, or has he just gotten really lonely in his old age? First, he appears on Dancing with the Stars. Then he makes a guest appearance on 30 Rock. And tonight, he’s hosting WWE’s Monday Night Raw. Talk about a media whore.
– Another year and the Triple Crown drought continues. I’m starting to think that it just isn’t meant to be. I mean, if Smarty Jones – the greatest racehorse in the last 20 years – couldn’t do it, maybe it just can’t be done in the modern age.
I remember the sad day when Smarty lost the Belmont Stakes. My friend told me how sad she was. I agreed saying that the hopes of America were riding on the horse. She looked at me strange and said that she was referring to Ronald Reagan’s death which had happened the same day.
– Speaking of the Preakness, I see that they’ve changed up their alcohol policy yet again. Two years ago, when I went, you could bring your own alcohol into the infield. The result was a drunken s*** show. You also got to see people run across port-a-potties and try to avoid getting hit by thrown beer cans:
Last year, they said you could no longer bring in your own alcohol. Attendance dropped severely, as apparently the only real draw to being in the infield was getting ridiculously sloppy wasted. Unfortunately for Maryland racetracks, the Preakness was where they made the majority of their money, and they didn’t make nearly as much as in previous years.
This year, they enacted a $20 all-you-can-drink policy which seems like a decent compromise.
– I’m going to another birthing class tonight. I gotta tell you, that video they show you is something that really sticks with you. If they want you to remember what you’ve just watched, then they shouldn’t close with video of the actual birth. Once you watch that, most of what you’ve seen before is completely wiped away.
Should be fun!