We’ve found that the Cutlet enjoys watching TV. When the television is on, she seems to be enraptured by it, and doesn’t like to turn her head away.
This means that she is being exposed to whatever it is we happen to be watching. Hopefully, she isn’t absorbing too much, because we have realized that television is filled with really bad female role models.
Here are some examples:
I don’t think I need to explain why these girls aren’t exactly great role models. I was having trouble deciding which of them I would least like the Cutlet to emulate. Here’s what I eventually came up with in order of best to worst case scenario.
Angelina – She’s apparently too conceited, loud, and obnoxious to be tolerated by her castmates. Think about that for a minute. But really, based on her parents, there’s very little chance that the Cutlet doesn’t turn out to be at least slightly obnoxious. And maybe not getting along with the Jersey Shore people isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Sammi -It’s inevitable that I’ll have to deal with an obnoxious boyfriend or two along the way. (Although if I am successful with my plan to make any potential suitor wrestle me first, maybe I won’t) I can only hope that the Cutlet handles her relationships with a little more grace than Sammi. The last thing I need to deal with is a drama queen daughter.
J-Woww – If the Cutlet ever shows up on TV with a horrible nickname (How did she decide that J-Woww should be spelled with two W’s at the end? She just thought that one wasn’t enough?) and fake breasts, then I’ve pretty much failed as a father.
Oh, and apparently J-Woww is in negotiations with Playboy. She’s basically one step away from being a stripper. And yet, I don’t think she’s the worst possible role model on the show.
Snooki – I decided that turning out like Snooki was the absolute worst possible fate for the Cutlet. It’s bad enough that she’s a drunken trainwreck on national TV. It’s bad enough that when the show is parodied, a man usually portrays Snooki.
But the fact that she made herself into a well-known pseudo-celebrity is the worst part of it. If the Cutlet turns out to be a trainwreck, I hope she keeps it relatively quiet, and not place herself into the consciousness of mainstream America. I really do not want to spend the rest of my life being known as “Snooki’s dad.”
Nobody has yet to adequately answer the question, “Why are these girls famous?” The best answer I have gotten is that they are famous for having big asses and a sex tape. By those qualifications, I know other people who should be famous as well.
And yet, these ladies have not one, but two top-rated reality shows. And for some reason, these shows seem to be on my TV quite a bit.
From what I can tell, the show revolves around the girls dealing with Kourtney’s (Trust me, I had to look up which sister) on-again/off-again boyfriend Scott. Apparently, Scott is both her baby daddy and a raging asshole alcoholic.
I shouldn’t know who Scott is. And yet I do. This annoys me greatly.
I was going to say that I don’t want the Cutlet to grow up to be like the Kardashians. But the more I think about it, if the Cutlet can somehow become rich without really doing anything of note, then maybe I shouldn’t complain. (Who’s gonna pay the bills? Hollywood kid!) Even better, they date famous athletes, so I could probably score some awesome tickets to the Super Bowl and stuff.
I mean, there’s a decent chance that she’ll have a large posterior, so she’s halfway there. Of course, I could really do without my daughter having a sex tape. In fact, it’s absolutely horrifying to think that I might one day have to worry about something like that. *shudders*
I’m sure she can figure out a way to become famous without going the sex tape route though. Maybe she could actually do something that would benefit society! As long as she can do that, I am okay with the Cutlet emulating the Kardashians.
But I still hate Scott.
I am not a fan of Rachel Ray. I don’t necessarily think that she’s a bad person or role model, but she annoys the living crap out of me. When I see her on my TV, I want to throw something through it.
So while emulating Rachel Ray could have some good points (rich, good cooking skills), I also shudder to think that my daughter could possibly annoy me that much. (Although I will inevitably be annoyed by her, because that’s what children do)
On the bright side, when the Cutlet gets a little older, I can simply turn on Rachel Ray, and tell her that we’re watching a Shrek video. It’ll save me the trouble of buying the Shrek DVD set.
The Beautiful People of TNA Wrestling
TNA is a wrestling promotion that competes with WWE. Now, I’m not going to claim that the WWE is loaded with strong role models. But since they switched to more PG-type programming, they’ve cut done on the sleaze a bit.
TNA isn’t quite as progressive. There is a faction of women on the show called The Beautiful People. They are heavily made-up, loaded with silicon, and dress like prostitutes. Their mission is to “cleanse the world one ugly person at a time.” In other words, they are complete and utter bitches.
Naturally, any woman who watches the show instantly hates them. When Mrs. Cutter sees them, she feels compelled to rant about how much she does not like them. (“I hate them! Why are they the beautiful people! They’re not even attractive!”)
Here’s a good example of how fatherhood can change a man. Back in the day, I might have welcomed an appearance by the Beautiful People. But when my daughter is sitting on my lap, all I can think is “Please don’t turn out like this. Please don’t turn out like this.”
Then again, being a fan of professional wrestling, it would be kind of nice to get free tickets and get a chance to meet the famous wrestlers. But no, I don’t think it would be worth it to have the Cutlet look and act like an evil whore.
So considering the best possible role models that I’ve seen are the Kardashians, I really have to wonder: Are there any women on TV who make good role models? Or should I just prepare the Cutlet for a lifetime of watching nothing but Sesame Street?
Maybe I should just stick to the news. Surely there must be some prominent female newsmakers or politicians she can emulate!
Or maybe not.