As I mentioned previously, I have been on a diet for the past few weeks. Despite a few temptations along the way, I have been able to stick with the program. But I’m finding that the deeper we go into December, the more difficult it is becoming.
I’m pretty sure that I will have to make this the final week of the diet, and let the remainder of the month go as it may. There are just too many parties and gatherings coming up for me to have any hope. Then again, I suppose I could just not eat at these events. After all, aren’t we supposed to suffer a little during the holidays?
Either way, for now I remain vigilant.
Apparently, in my desire to obtain rock-hard abs, I have angered the food gods. They prefer a fat Cutter, and as I get further down the path towards skinniness, they keep coming up with greater obstacles to place in my path.
I must have them really scared, as they have thrown some heavy artillery at me today: My co-worker brought in some homemade holiday cookies and fudge.
Yeah, I know. Some people have a lot of nerve sharing some delicious treats with their co-workers like that.
So now every time I go over to the water fountain to get a drink, there’s a plate of cookies sitting there as if to say, “Come eat me, you fat bastard.”
Is that a challenge? Is that a f***ing challenge? Well game on, cookies and fudge! Game f***ing on! I am the Cutter! I will reject you and all your delicious brethren! And I will have my vengeance in this life or the next!
I’ve actually made a point to give the cookies the finger when I see them now. I want them to know the level of contempt I hold them in.
On a related note, sometimes when I get hungry, I get a little loopy. Yeah, I think I’m going to end the diet this week. It will probably be best for everyone.