In Search of the World’s Awesomest Song

Whoaaaaa….we’re halfway there!

That’s right, with today’s entry, I am more than halfway through the 31 Days of Blogging.   16 up and 16 down, and I haven’t even had to use much filler yet.

In honor of the above song lyric, today’s entry will be all about determining what is the world’s most awesome song.

I have come up with a list of eight of the most awesome songs in existence, and I will analyze them all in order to determine which of them is the awesomest of the awesome.

You may disagree with my choices.  In fact, I’m sure you will.   I am confident that I excluded some very awesome songs, some of which would likely blow away the ones that I have chosen in a storm of awesomeness.

But for now, here are the eight which I have chosen:

Don’t Stop Believing – Journey

I was on a booze bus.  We were at that magic point in the night where most of the people onboard had reached just the right level of intoxication.  Inhibitions were lowered, but nobody had gotten too sloppy.  Everyone was having a great time, and it didn’t seem like things could get much better.

As if on cue, Don’t Stop Believing came on the radio.

Naturally, everyone was thrilled.  People had their arms around each other, loudly singing out the lyrics (or at least a close approximation).

Once the song had ended there was an unspoken realization that the night had just peaked, and it was all downhill from there.  But for those few minutes, life had been perfect.  There was no other place that we would have rather been than on that bus listening to that song.

Paradise City – Guns N’ Roses

We start out with a distinctive guitar solo.  Then the drums begin.  At just the right moment, Axl chimes in with the simple, yet oh-so-memorable chorus, which is followed in turn by a headbangingly killer guitar riff.

This is an awesome song that knows exactly how awesome it is.  And much like the greatest icons of rock and roll, it seems to finish slightly earlier than we’d like, as if it wanted to avoid us growing tired of it.

But no!  Just as we think the song is coming to an end, it hits us with a frantic finale as if it wanted to scream “Rock and roll will never die!”

It may not have been GNR’s biggest hit, but in my opinion, it is definitely their most awesome song.

Apparently Slash loves the song so much that he recorded a version of it with Cypress Hill and Fergie.  I can’t really say that it’s good.  I can’t really say that it’s bad.  The most accurate description of it is that it exists.

F*** wit’ Dre’ Day – Dr. Dre

The year was 1993.  While mainstream America had accepted rap, it was mostly the fun, party rappers of the 80’s and early 90’s.  The Fresh Prince!  Kid and Play!  MC Hammer!  Those were the acts that most people associated with rap music.

And then Dr. Dre released The Chronic.

With MTV jumping aboard the bandwagon, mainstream America was suddenly introduced to a new kind of rapper.  One that wasn’t family friendly.  One that talked about hos and tricks, and smoking weed every day.

To a 15-year-old boy, this was truly awesome.  It didn’t matter that I was a white kid from the ‘burbs.  I wanted to be gangsta!  I wanted to diss my enemies.  I wanted to carry a strap.  I wanted to be Bow-wow-wow-yippee-yo-yippee-yay-in the muthaf***in’ house!

Watching this video, Dre and Snoop seemed like the coolest guys who ever lived.  And now that I think about it…maybe they were.

Enter Sandman – Metallica

Is it possible to listen to this song and not get at least a little bit pumped up?  The guitar starts up and the adrenaline begins to flow.

When Enter Sandman is playing, it is no longer time to talk.  It is no longer time to think. It is time for action; bone crushing, ass-kicking action.

If you’re ever facing an unplesant task, I suggest listening to Enter Sandman immediately beforehand.  Whatever it is that you have to do will still suck, but at least you’ll be somewhat excited about it.

Grocery shopping to do?  Listen to Enter Sandman on the way over and you’ll be racing through the aisles finding sales.

Got to help someone move?  This song will have you lifting pullout couches by yourself.

Going to a child’s violin concert?  At least you’ll have Metallica playing in your head to help drown out the sound of the violins.

Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice

Sure, it gets mocked now.  But at a middle school dance in 1991, I probably could have gotten a gymnasium full of adolescents to declare it the greatest song ever.  When this song played, the pure emotion that I felt from the crowd is something I’ve felt few times since.

I remember when Vanilla performed on Saturday Night Live.  After they had announced him as musical guest, that was just about all anyone could talk about that week in school.

We waited all week, and we were treated to one of the more memorable live performances ever.  Dressed in a black and silver “Word to your Mother” jacket, Vanilla kicked his juice, and then followed up the song with a bizarre floor humping dance.  It was truly amazing.

And sure, you may mock the song now.  You may think it’s lame.  But be honest: If it were to come on the radio, are you turning it off?  Or are you going to be excited that it’s playing and start to sing along.

Yeah, I thought so.

Living on a Prayer – Bon Jovi

Picture the scene: You’re at a wedding reception and the place is rocking.  The dance floor is packed, people are grooving,  and everyone’s having a good time.

And then it happens: The DJ mixes in a few chords.  People’s ears perk up.  Did we just hear what we thought we heard?

A few more seconds go by, and the DJ mixes the song in again.  A look of excited recognition comes over everyone’s face.  They realize what’s about to happen and a feeling of anticipation surges through the dance floor.

Finally, the DJ switches over to Richie Sambora’s guitar, and the place goes berserk.

Once the lyrics start, the song doesn’t even need to be played anymore.  As if to prove it, as it reaches the chorus, the DJ kills the sound because the crowd can – no, MUST – sing it themselves.

The marriage that they’re celebrating might not last, but while that song is playing, it feels like there’s no way they could possibly fail.

Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynrd

Con Air was not a good movie.

And yet, when leaving the theater, most people had a positive impression of what they had just watched.

Why?

Because during the end credits, they played this song over a montage of the cast:

Yeah, Sweet Home Alabama is kind of like a giant turd polisher.  No matter what just happened, upon hearing this song people will feel better about it.  It makes the bad good, and makes the good amazing.

I am formally requesting that Sweet Home Alabama be played at my funeral.  That way, no matter how my life turns out, people will hear the song and look back at me with fond memories.

We Will Rock You – Queen

*Stomp-Stomp-Clap*

*Stomp-Stomp-Clap*

It doesn’t matter how poorly the home team is doing.  It doesn’t matter how dire the situation looks.  When the crowd hears *stomp-stomp-clap* over the sound system, they can’t help but feel a renewed sense of hope.

Suddenly, anything is possible.

Perhaps their team will suddenly get their act together.  Perhaps they’re about to witness an amazing comeback.  Perhaps they’ll witness one of the greatest moments in sports history.

You know that it may not happen.  You know that it probably won’t happen.  But when you hear that *stomp-stomp-clap* you can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, it will.

 

They’re all worthy candidates of being hailed as the world’s awesomest song, so I’ll leave it up to my readers.

What do you think?  Which of these eight is worthy of being declared the awesomest?  And in fact, are any of these songs truly worthy of the title?  Or have I missed the mark completely?

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About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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3 Responses to In Search of the World’s Awesomest Song

  1. We need more votes!

    I will admit to wanting to do the running man and grab my foot in that strange awkward way to Ice Ice Baby but I only think it was because the sample was Pressure. There has definitely got to be better song from ’91.

  2. Squinty says:

    Are You Jimmy Ray didn’t make the cut?

  3. The Cutter says:

    Are You Jimmy Ray? juuuust missed the list.

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