Friday Night at the Greene Turtle

Last Friday, Mrs. Cutter and I eschewed our usual Friday night routine of watching DVRed TV shows and actually went out.

What prompted the dramatic course of action?  Squinty was in town for a few days, and we figured that we should at least make a token effort to go see him.  And so a token effort is what we gave.

The biggest complication in going out is that we need to find someone to watch the Cutlet.

I have to ask: Since she’s asleep for most of the time, would it really be that horrible if we just left the Cutlet unattended?  I mean, if we put her to bed and then left, would she even notice?  She’d probably just sleep through like normal.  What’s the harm, right?

Apparently with all the heightened post-9/11 security, people are really quick to throw around terms like “neglect.” So if we go out, we have to find someone to watch her. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.

With our usual babysitter unavailable, we solicited the services of the Seeking Sitters company who found us a suitable replacement at a high cost.  Really, it’s a bit of a ripoff considering that the Cutlet is only awake for about an hour or so.  Basically we’re just paying the sitter to sit on our couch and watch TV.

The most difficult part of leaving the Cutlet with a babysitter is her reaction.  When a strange person enters the house, the Cutlet instantly becomes nervous and clings to one of her parents.  When we separate from her and force her to interact with the sitter, tears and screams usually follow.

So we were expecting a difficult scene when the sitter arrived.  Imagine our surprise when the Cutlet simply walked over to her bookcase and grabbed some books for the sitter to read with her.

While it’s good that we were able to slip out without a huge scene, we couldn’t help but feel a little bit insulted.  Why doesn’t our daughter love us anymore???

Our destination for the evening was The Greene Turtle in Gaithersburg.  If you’ve never been to this particular GT before, I can’t recommend it.  Unless you’re a fan of sub par cover bands, slow service, and crappy food.

On the bright side, they did have a guy dressed up like a turtle, and when prompted, he would dance around and do ninja moves.  So that was kind of cool, even though he might have overstayed his welcome a bit.

One thing I re-learned this evening: Women can be real bitches sometimes.  Most of the ladies at the table decided that they were going to Facebook friend request Squnity’s girlfriend (who did not come along) and start asking her questions like “What’s your ring size?” and “Would you be offended if a guy bought an engagement ring at a mall.”

Having just recovered from a stomach illness earlier in the week, I probably should have been a bit more careful about what and how much I ate.  Then again, I didn’t realize quite how poor the food quality was going to be.

I started things off with my favorite non-alcoholic drink: a Shirley Temple.  At the prompting of TooTall, I had them add a scoop of ice cream into the drink.  It was tasty, but probably not the best thing for my stomach.

For dinner, I had a turkey burger with cheese.  I don’t know if there was a right thing to order (Mrs. Cutter didn’t like her meal either) but the turkey burger was definitely not it.  It was dry, tasted like cardboard, and sat on my stomach like a huge brick. 

That didn’t stop my from having some of Mrs. Cutter’s cookie sundae dessert.  At least that tasted good.

With my meal sitting painfully in my stomach, I decided to walk around the bar for a little bit.  To my surprise, I was not allowed in the main bar area without paying a cover.  I was confused as to why the Greene Turtle would charge a cover, but I didn’t care enough to get an answer.  I quickly turned around and headed back into the restaurant section.

We later learned the reason for the cover: A live band was playing.   The band wasn’t especially good, and the volume of the music quickly sent Mrs. Cutter into full-blown “mommy mode.”

“Why is this music so loud?” she asked repeatedly.  “I don’t want to listen to this.  Let’s get out of here.”

Only getting out of there wasn’t a simple task.  Our waiter had apparently long since grown tired of checking on us, and it took us about ten minutes to locate him and ask for our check.  Another ten minutes or so passed before the check was actually brought to us, and then another five went by before our credit card was processed.

The delay would have been annoying enough on its own, but considering we were paying a babysitter by the hour, it was also costing us money.

After our check was finally settled, we said our goodbyes to Squinty and the rest of the group.  I grabbed my hamantashen (courtesy of Squnity’s mom) and we headed home.

When we returned home, we got a report from the babysitter that the Cutlet was a perfect angel all evening.  I suppose that’s good news, but still…Why doesn’t she love us???

Despite our daughter’s wavering love, and despite the fact that my stomach felt like crap all night, it was still nice to get out for an evening.  And I guess it was even nice to see Squinty.

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About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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