The Temptation

I’m working from home today.  (Slight twinge of sadness as I realize this will be the last time I work from the condo)  This means that I get to wear my comfy flannel pants, I get to watch TV, and I can also get some necessary packing done during the work day.

But I have discovered a major drawback to working from home: They call to me.

They sit there in their black bag.  They tempt me with their many fabulous colors, and their milk chocolate deliciousness.  I know I should avoid them.  I know I shouldn’t even think about them.  And yet, I listen to their siren song.

They tell me, “You may have bought us to reward your daughter for using the potty, but that’s not going so well, is it?  You are the one who really deserves the reward.  You’ve been working hard.  You’ve been stressed out about the move.  So take it, take the reward.  You can always buy more for your daughter.  She won’t even know, and there are so many of us to go around.”

“But no!” I protest.  “I can’t just eat you.  I need to eat a healthy lunch.”

“A healthy lunch?  Nutrition is for other months.  This is December!  This the holiday season!  This is the time for all of humanity to give in to temptation and indulge in delicious chocolate treats.”

“I know what you’re trying to do.  You’re trying to make me fat again!”

“Make you fat?  Look how small we are.  How could something so small possibly make you fat?  Besides, you can always exercise afterwards.  We’ll even provide you with some extra energy to help.”

“I don’t have time to work out today.”

“Then only have a few of us.  We won’t mind.”

“You know that I can’t only have a few.  Once I start, there will be no turning back.”

“And would that be such a bad thing?”

With that, I shut the door and refuse to listen to any more.  I know the door shutting is only symbolic, but it helps.

Yet, I can still sense them out there, just waiting for me to give in.  They are patient as they have no place to go and can wait for as long as it takes.

I hope that the Cutlet really figures out potty training soon so we can give her some more.  I really don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold out.

Bastards

Bastards

In hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t have taken that picture.  It caused me to give in.  But I only ate a few of them.  Honest!

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About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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