Things I Don’t Like

In December of 2005 I had a bad day at work.  I forced to change desks against my will, and I didn’t handle it especially well.

When I went home that evening, I compiled a list of “Things I Don’t Like.”

In the process of unpacking, I recently came across the list, and considering that I just had to move my desk yesterday (although in all honesty, my temporary work area is pretty nice) I figured it was a good time to re-visit a few things from that list, and see how I feel about them today:

Doritos – It doesn’t matter what flavor they are, I’ve just never cared for Doritos.  On the surface, there’s nothing about them that I shouldn’t like, but I’ve always just found them kind of gross.  Thinking that my tastes might have changed, I tried them again recently, and still did not like them.

Two flavors of ickiness

Two flavors of ickiness

Sarah Jessica Parker – Has ol’ Horseface been up to anything lately?  According to her profile page, not really.  Is it possible that America finally got tired of her?  If so, we should all feel quite relieved.

(Note: As a public service, I am not posting a picture of her.  You’re welcome)

Hyphenated names – I still think they suck.  Think about the poor children who now have to write out a long, hyphenated last name!  And what happens when people with already hyphenated names get married?  Do they add an extra hyphen?  In another generation, we might end up with kids with seven hyphens in their names!  Good luck with that one.

I’ve also made a point not to draft any players with hyphenated names in my fantasy football drafts.  Maurice Jones-Drew?  Sorry, I just didn’t trust him enough to make him my first round pick.  It also might have had to do with the fact that he held out through training camp, but still, the hyphen was involved in the thought process.

You take your hyphenated fantasy points elsewhere

You take your hyphenated fantasy points elsewhere

People who can’t figure out the Metro, specifically that you “walk on the left” – This is still an annoyance, although not nearly as prominent in my life now that I don’t commute on the Metro every day.

I did witness an amusing incident a couple of weeks ago when the left side of the escalator was blocked by standing passengers, and one person took great offense to it.  He began yelling things like, “Move you f***ing idiot!  I hope you get AIDS and die!”

That might have been a bit harsh, and it didn’t have any effect.  People continued to stand obliviously on the left of the escalator, unaware that anything was wrong.

The New York Mets – The years since I wrote the list have not been kind to the Mets.  They won the National League East in 2006, but since then, they’ve pretty much become a big punchline.  From their Phillies-induced collapses in 2007 and 2008 to their payroll slashing due to the Bernie Madoff scandal, the team has had a rough time.

It’s difficult to even consider them much of a rival of the Phillies anymore, so they really don’t belong on this list.

Driving in the rain – Now that my commute is longer, I have a feeling that this will be more of a concern for me in the years ahead.

Back in 2005, I was driving a Mitsubishi Eclipse convertible that would often leak in the rain, making the driving experience that much worse.  So far, my CR-V has proven to be waterproof, so at least I don’t get dripped on while I drive.  It doesn’t mean that I much enjoy it though.

Almond Joy and Mounds – I like coconut flavoring well enough, but coconut in my candy?  Ew.  I think it has something to do with the texture.  Regardless, when the Cutlet was choosing which candy to pick on Halloween, I made sure to steer her away from these.

No, sweetie.  Grab the M&MS!

No, sweetie. Grab the M&MS!

Perfume and cologne – These almost universally offend my sense of smell.  According to my mother, when she was pregnant with me, she would get sick if she smelled perfume, so apparently, I’ve always hated them.  I don’t envision this ever changing.

Corn – I will conclude with the substance that I probably hate most of all.  I still can’t stomach the “devil plant,” but unfortunately, it is one of the few foods that the Cutlet devours eagerly.  So I very often find myself trying to block out the smell as I open a can and dump it into a plastic container for her lunch.  Sigh…the things we do for our kids.



That’s enough hating for today.  But if tomorrow goes poorly, I could very well be back with another installment!


About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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2 Responses to Things I Don’t Like

  1. Squinty says:

    I have a hyphenated first name

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