Have you ever been driving with your iPod hooked up to the stereo, and found yourself becoming increasingly frustrated with the music selection?
A song comes on, and you’re all like, “This sucks. Next song.” That songs fails to meet your approval as well. You skip to the next track, and you can’t believe that yet another crappy song is being presented for your listening pleasure.
This very situation happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I was in a bad mood, so I decided to let my iPod know that I wasn’t happy. “What the hell? Can’t you play something I like?” I snapped.
The iPod was just sitting there like, “WTF man? You’re the one who loaded all this crap music. Don’t get mad at me for playing it.”
So this is my fault? How dare the iPod blame this on me! I try to defend myself. “I know, but remember that I got most of this music during that wonderful time from 1999 to 2004 when people could just download whatever songs they wanted from the internet without paying for it.”
The iPod looks at me skeptically, so I continue, “See there was Napster and Kazaa, and all sorts of ways to get free music. You didn’t have to pay for anything, so you didn’t have to worry about whether or not a song was worth purchasing. You’d hear a song once and think, ‘Oh, that’s catchy. I’mma download it,’ and just like that, Crazy Town’s Butterfly was part of your music library forever more.”
“So that’s why you have so much random crap from the turn of the millennium?”
“Well, that doesn’t explain all of it.”
“OK, well when importing CDs, sometimes its just easier to import the entire CD rather than only selecting the few tracks that I like.”
“Ah, so that would explain the presence of the song ‘Until the Day’ by Nonchalant?”
“Yes, that was off the soundtrack from the movie Bulletproof.”
“It was an action comedy with Adam Sandler and Damon Wayans.”
“And you bought the soundtrack?”
“Actually, that’s a pretty solid album overall. I’m not ashamed of that one.”
The iPod rolls its eyes.
I’m not about to let the iPod defer all the blame. “Don’t act like you don’t try to force stuff upon me. You definitely get into some phases too. Like last week when you kept playing all those Sublime songs. I had to check to make sure I hadn’t accidentally clicked on Sublime.”
“What’s wrong with Sublime?”
“Nothing. I like Sublime. I just wasn’t in the mood for Sublime that day. And after I skipped over two of their songs, you should have picked up on that.”
“It just felt like a Sublime kind of day.”
“That’s not your decision to make! When I say to shuffle songs, I want you to shuffle the damn songs!”
“Are you pouting?”
*Santeria begins to play on the stereo*
“Hey! What did I just say? That’s it, I’m turning on the radio!”