2012 is finally coming to a close, and I’m not especially unhappy about it. This has been far from the best year of my life.
While it seems like I’m finally in a good place as the year is ending, as the saying goes, “Life is a journey, and not a destination.” Much of the journey this year hasn’t been that pleasant.
Then again, I’m mostly complaining about problems that many people would love to have. The year could have been much worse, so really, I just might be a bit of a whiner.
Part of the reason the year has been lousy was due to the fortunes of my sports teams. Temple basketball suffered an ugly defeat in the first round of the NCAA tournament. The Phillies had a disappointing third place finish. And this may have been the worst Eagles season I have ever witnessed.
Things may be turning around though! The year looks like it will be ending on a happy note, as reports are that Eagles coach Andy Reid has been fired. I’ve long waited for this day, and it’s just a shame that I had to suffer through the atrocity of the 2012 season to get it. This event merits a much longer post that will have to wait until 2013.
This morning somehow managed to scoop Mrs. Cutter on the news that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are expecting a child. She was upset about that, but she was more concerned with how Khloe Kardashian would take the news. Apparently Khloe has been trying to conceive for a while now.
Mrs. Cutter also said that if I thought the Cutlet was spoiled, just wait and see how spoiled Kim and Kanye’s child is going to be. I told her that if our child’s level of spoiledness could even be compared to a Kardashian baby then we’re doing something drastically wrong.
That exciting news aside, today is New Years Eve. This used to be one of my favorite days of the year. These days, it’s more of a reminder that my best partying days are behind us.
I figured it was an optimal time to present my annual Cutter Awards for 2012!
To celebrate, I’d like to open up the proceedings with a musical performance. Did I go with some trendy new artist who we won’t even remember a year from now? Nope, I went with a classic performer performing a classic song. Here is I Ran (So Far Away) by A Flock of Seagulls.
Now that we’re in the right mindset, I’ll hand out the first award: The Chris Callan Rookie of the Year Award.
I had known this year’s recipient prior to this year, but in 2012, after playing together on several kickball teams, and bonding over a shared love of the greatest cereal ever invented, I actually began to enjoy his presence. Congratulations go out to the man I like to call Jimmy Kickball!
Next, I’ll discuss my favorite movie of the year. The movies of 2012 were much superior to the weak class we were served up in 2011. Highly anticipated movies like The Hunger Games and The Avengers actually lived up to the high expectations I held for them. Yet neither of those were my favorite movie of the year.
While many people preferred its predecessor, I felt that The Dark Knight Rises was actually the best movie of the Nolan Batman trilogy. Maybe it was just immediacy bias, but after seeing this movie, I thought it might have been the best superhero movie ever.
Sure there were major plot holes that don’t hold up to closer scrutiny: (Spoiler warning, but really, the movie came out six months ago. If you haven’t seen it yet, you probably don’t care that much)
- Wasn’t Talia’s plot needlessly complicated? If she really wanted to destroy Gotham, I’m sure she could have found a way to activate the bomb much earlier.
- That underground prison should have been insanely easy to escape. They already had a rope! Why not build a makeshift grappling hook, untie the rope, and throw it over the top? At the very least, they probably could have chiseled some handholds in the rock wall.
- Are nuclear reactors really that durable? The thing was being jostled and banged around quite a bit in the climactic chase, but nobody seemed all that concerned that they might trigger an explosion.
These flaws aside, it was an insanely fun movie to watch, even if some people complain that it wasn’t even really about Batman, but rather Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s John Blake character. In a way, that actually made the movie better.
The next award goes to my favorite song of the year. I generally don’t like much of the new music that those young whippersnappers listen to these days. You can keep your One Directions and your Taylor Swifts, thank you very much.
It may be a bit of a guilty pleasure, and I’m not sure if it’s actually discussing fellatio or female referees, but the song I enjoyed most in 2012 was Whistle by Flo Rida.
To celebrate his Cutter Award, here is Flo Rida performing that very song!
I’m running out of time, (Regardless of whether or not my office closes early, I’m certainly not working a full day) so I’d better get to the most coveted Cutter Award of them all: The Person of the Year.
Between softball, kickball, and mourning over the fate of the Phillies, I’ve spent a lot of time socially with this person in 2012. I even got to go to his wedding!
Note: His wife was also a contender for the award, but since she once criticized (admittedly, she was correct) my lack of patience, I had to eliminate her from competition.
The highlight for our winner came when he kicked a game winning grand slam in a kickball game where I had yelled at our entire team due to their sloppy play. (I did apologize later) Perhaps anger fueled his heroics, but whatever the cause, he came through in a big way.
It is with great pleasure that I present the Cutter Award to Dribbles!
If there was an actual physical award, I’m sure he would have it prominently displayed somewhere.
Before we go, I wanted to give you one last musical performance by an immortal artist. So here is Turtle Power by Partners in Kryme!
And with that, I bid 2012 a not so fond farewell. Here’s hoping that 2013 turns out much better for me as well as all my friends, family, and loyal readers.
Happy new year!