The Cleanse

In the spirit of healthier eating, one of Mrs. Cutter’s co-workers convinced her to go on a two-week “cleanse” diet.

What does this diet consist of?  I’m not entirely sure, but the gist of it seems to be: No meat, dairy, grains, or any sort of processed food.  I don’t know how effective the diet will be, but it is clear that Whole Foods is going to be a big winner.

We might as well just forward our paychecks to Whole Foods (Image source: Flickr)

We might as well just forward our paychecks to Whole Foods (Image source: Flickr)

She asked if I wanted to do the cleanse along with her.  I gave that question a little bit of thought and came up with a decent compromise: I would eat whatever dinner she chose to make, but the rest of the day, she was on her own.

I try to be supportive and all, but a man has his limits.  I like meat.  And dairy.  And food that isn’t limited to just fruit and vegetables.

Monday night’s dinner wasn’t too bad.  We had tofu and bean tacos served on corn tortillas.  It was decent enough, although I certainly don’t envision myself ordering it at a restaurant anytime soon.

Last night’s dinner didn’t go quite as well.  The main course was vegetarian falafel.  Heading into the meal, I assumed that I had eaten falafel before.  It just seemed like the type of food that would have crossed my path somewhere along the line.

But after tasting it last night, I am fairly sure that I was wrong in that assumption.  I can’t imagine ever forgetting that taste.  (Then again, it’s possible that I had tried it while drunk.  That would explain why I didn’t remember the taste)

Regardless, I think it’s safe to say that last night was the last time I will ever try falafel.

Oh, so THIS is falafel?  It's awful! (Photo source: Flickr)

Oh, so THIS is falafel? It’s awful! (Photo source: Flickr)

I thought that maybe this particular falafel was bad, but Mrs. Cutter said that the taste was fairly representative.

I managed to swallow down the piece that was in my mouth, and moved the rest of my portion to Mrs. Cutter’s plate.

I went into the pantry and fixed myself a bowl of Special K cereal with strawberries.  I could have used the alternative almond milk for my cereal, but I instead opted for regular cow milk.

I regret nothing about that decision.

While I have not been dedicated, I am proud of Mrs. Cutter for sticking with the cleanse.  It looks like it may be working, because on Tuesday, the diet caused her to be irritable and unhappy.  Based on past experience, when it comes to diets, unhappiness = effectiveness.

I’ll do my best to encourage her to stick with it, but I think we’re both looking forward to the cleanse being over so we can go back to having normal dinners again.


About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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33 Responses to The Cleanse

  1. Mancakes says:

    You are good husband, Cutter. 🙂

  2. Katie says:

    I don’t get the cleanse. I’ve done diets here and there, but nothing too extreme. I associate the word cleanse (in this capacity) with an enema for some reason.

  3. Mrs. Cutter says:

    I honestly don’t think this is going to last much longer. I’m starting to hallucinate and I almost grabbed a co-worker’s sandwich in the break room.

  4. I hate diets. And no way could I go vegetarian for even a day. I’m a carnivore.

  5. May I have your falafel if you’re not going to eat it? I can’t get enough of it!

  6. goldfish says:

    That was a nice compromise.

  7. The Waiting says:

    I totally don’t get falafel. I have probably the most diplomatic palate of anyone you’ll ever meet, but falafel just tastes like it gave up trying to taste good midway through the cooking process.

  8. Rohan 7 Things says:

    Haha! I love falafels, so yummy, I’m sure there must have been something wrong with the ones you had, maybe there was a little too much seasoning. Or it could be merely personal taste 🙂

    Good luck to Mrs Cutter on her cleanse, and well done for supporting her 🙂


  9. MissFourEyes says:

    I don’t mind vegetarianism. But no dairy, grains, or any sort of processed food? No way! How does she do it?
    Good luck to Mrs.Cutter.

  10. Kathy says:

    Nice support there! I’ve had falafel before and didn’t mind it. But it probably had meat with it, so maybe that’s the key? I’m with you – carnivore all the way. If we don’t eat them, they’ll rule the world.

  11. twindaddy says:

    I’ve never heard of falafel and now that I have i liked it better when I had never heard of falafel.

  12. The Hook says:

    Best falafel post ever!
    Well done!

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