I Am Rebecca Martinson

By now, most of you have read the viral email sent by Rebecca Martinson to her sorority, and seen some of the internet’s hilarious reactions to it.

Side note: I wasn’t surprised at all when I found out she was a Delta Gamma.  I know Delta Gammas, and those girls are CRAZY.

Insane.  All of them.  (Photo source: Wikipedia)

Insane. All of them. (Photo source: Wikipedia)

In the aftermath of the event, Martinson has resigned from her chapter.  Her resignation doesn’t surprise me in the least, as I’m sure she was under a great deal of pressure to do so from both the national sorority as well as her chapter.

I can’t help but sympathize with her.  The reason for my sympathy is because under different circumstances, I could have been Rebecca Martinson.

Back in my college days, I would often exchange emails with my fraternity brothers.  To put it mildly, some of the emails were not especially politically correct.

I never really thought about it, but I always assumed that any emails sent to my brothers were private.  I assumed that they would only be read by the intended recipients, and that those recipients knew me and my “unusual” personality rather well.

Ms. Martinson likely made a similar assumption.  Unfortunately for her, an email that was probably laughed off by most of her sisters as “Rebecca being Rebecca” was seen by the outside world.  All of a sudden, she’s being condemned as everything that’s wrong with America.

I recall one instance when one of my brothers sent out a particularly off-color email, and then realized that he had accidentally included the chapter advisor on the recipient list.  Upon realizing what he had done, he actually made a desperate dive at the phone cord (Yes, back then we were all using dial-up connections to the internet) in an attempt to prevent the email from sending.  That brother received a stern talking to from the advisor, but that was the extent of the damage.

But even if the email had spread further, it probably wouldn’t have become a phenomenon like Ms. Martinson’s did.  Keep in mind that the internet hadn’t yet hit its stride in those days.  If there were gossip/news sites like Gawker, they certainly weren’t at their current levels of popularity.  The worst case scenario might have been that the email would be featured on the front page of the school newspaper, not the front page of Yahoo!

I’m also probably giving myself too much credit to think that anything I wrote in college would have captured the attention of the nation.  While I would occasionally come up with some good material, I didn’t come close to the level of brilliance that Ms. Martinson has achieved.

While many are focusing on the unfortunate language and homophobic slurs, I think the real reason it has become such a sensation is due to how well written it was.  She does an excellent job of combining dark humor and sarcasm with bitter frustration.

In hindsight, maybe my chapter wouldn’t have underacheived as much if I told them all how much they sucked and had mixed in some threats of physical violence.  Then again, I was kind of fat back then, so the threats probably wouldn’t have been taken too seriously.

While Ms. Martinson is obviously not blameless for the negative publicity, if her sisters really want to be mad at someone, they should direct their ire at the person who shared the email with the outside world.

Why did she share it?  Was she offended by what was written?  If so, she should have taken the matter up directly with Ms. Martinson.  It is more likely that the email was shared by someone who thought that others would find the over-the-top insanity to be amusing.

Or maybe the rest of the sorority REALLY doesn’t like Ms. Martinson.  Based on the email, that doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch.

Whatever the motivation, whoever shared the email has brought a lot of negative attention upon her sorority.  If I was one of her sisters, I’d be quite upset with her.

It just goes to show how mindful we need to be about our electronic communications, even when we think what we’re sending is private.  Believe it or not, I am actually careful to filter myself when writing this blog.  When emailing my friends, I am not always that careful.  I’m just fortunate that it has never cost me.

As for Ms. Martinson, I have one piece of advice: Own the letter.

Don’t try to hide from the publicity, because that’s pretty much impossible right now.  For at least a little while, you’re going to be known as the “email girl” or the “c**t punt girl,” and there’s not much you can do about it.

So own up to it.  Express regret for the offensive slurs used, but take full responsibility for writing it, and take advantage of your newfound fame.  You’ve got some writing talent, so why not use your notoriety to get a writing job somewhere?  I’m sure there are many websites or magazines who would love to have you write for them.

Also, if possible you should probably try to copyright the term “c**t punt”.  Put it on some T-shirts, get them into the Dewey Beach shops by Memorial Day and you’ve got yourself a gold mine!

In honor of Ms. Martinson’s email, I shall conclude with this montage of women getting kicked in the crotch.  Enjoy!


About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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25 Responses to I Am Rebecca Martinson

  1. twindaddy says:

    I’m still kind of miffed about the use of profanity. We all use it. Why is it still so taboo?

  2. Katie says:

    I must have just come out from under my rock, because this is the first I’ve heard about this. That’s really the danger of writing anything negative or explicit–if it falls into the wrong hands it can come back to bite you. I agree with what you said though. She should just own it now. It was offensive at times, but who among us can really say they’ve never communicated anything off-color among friends? I mean, really.

  3. You have to admire this girl’s pep. She CARES about her SORORITY and SUPPORTS HER TEAM unlike her *^%&*^&*& sisters. And she CARES so much she’s willing to ASSAULT people. I think she’s awesome and more than likely a perfect representative of the majority of sororities. Now I know what I was missing out on!

    I just have to remember and come back and watch the videos when I get home.

  4. List of X says:

    I don’t blame the Rebecca. At one or another point in our life, we are all Rebecca Martinson.

  5. Lance says:

    You’re missing a couple of key points like her racist, sexist, agist, everything ist politicaly incorrect twitter account and the fact that the chapter knew about the nasty email for a while and did nothing.

    Now, the rest of your post is spot on. I wasn’t in a fraternity in college because I paid my own way and thus was poor. also, I worked fulltime and they demand a lot of your time. At first i tweeted “who is more undateable right now, Rebecca Martinson or Taylor Swift”. Then it was pointed out to me that Martinson was yelling at other girls for “cockblocking”. Basically she was trying to pimp out her “sisters” as cheerleaders, support system, and possibly “dates” for the brothers. Dudes love this stuff, especially young drunk ones.

    There was no email or twitter between the years 1988 and 1992 when I was at Univ of Alabama. But I heard enough nasty remarks that I cringe at someone knowing what was said among “friends” back then. Martinson is a quite a pill, but i get your points. good post

    • The Cutter says:

      The Twitter feed is a piece of work in itself, and it is clear that the girl needs to gain some enlightenment as well as learning what not to post in a public forum.

    • Lance says:

      i agree. Put it this way, if I were here father, there’s be a serious talk and then some.

  6. I am really fortunate to have been out of the loop on this one.

  7. Yeah, so I finally checked out the videos and thanks to YOU I wasted quite a bit of time on that series with the Barbie dolls voiced by two guys. How have I just discovered this?

  8. rarasaur says:

    I didn’t know anything about this email, but I am so glad I went to the Michael Shannon video first because it was hilarious. You’re so right, it was incredibly well-written despite (or maybe because of) it’s vulgarity and insanity. I am glad I was out of school by the time we entered the age of the internet– I can think of precious few moments that I’d want memorialized around the world for all time. Great post! 🙂

    • The Cutter says:

      I’m just awaiting the day when I need to tell my daughter all about the dangers of the internet. It might make the birds and bees seem like a pleasant conversation in comparison.

  9. I would definitely buy a cunt punt shirt. That phrase is gold.

  10. This is right and wrong on many different levels, but is it wrong that the one resounding message I get from this email is that in order to in a sorority, you need to be a slut???

    • The Cutter says:

      I didn’t get that message. There’s a difference between being a slut and not being so socially awkward that the fraternities won’t want to hang out with you.

  11. The Hook says:

    Great share, Cutter!

  12. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    That montage was the craziest stuff I’ve ever seen! Sorry, maybe I’m not living enough, but it was!! The three dancing girls at 1:50 had me giggle. Never seen anything like it!

  13. I think the lesson to be learned is you say this to your sisters, you don’t put it in writing. At least that is how I rolled….

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