Mrs. Cutter has become increasingly difficult to buy gifts for. Part of the problem is that she has this habit of buying just about anything she wants for herself. (This is ironic considering the number of times she has complained about her mother doing the same thing.)
In the Spring, her birthday, Mothers’ Day, and our anniversary come in quick succession. Despite the presence of those gift-giving holidays, Mrs. Cutter seemingly can’t resist buying stuff for herself around that time.
She’ll mention that she wants a new blender. So I get all happy and think, “Oh good! I can get her that as a present!” And then a week before her birthday, I’ll come downstairs and see a new blender on the countertop.
Earlier this year, she said that she really wanted a Dustbuster vacuum, so the Cutlet and I went out to Bed Bath and Beyond to buy one as a Mothers’ Day present. A week later, a brand new Dustbuster arrived from Amazon. (Amazon is a huge part of the problem. I’m becoming increasingly convinced that Mrs. Cutter is addicted to their site.)
In case anyone thinks I’m a horrible husband for buying my wife a vacuum as a gift, I’d like to point out that she specifically requested the vacuum. If you don’t want a vacuum as a gift, then don’t say you want a vacuum! Anyone who thinks I should have “known better” has either watched too many episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond or read too many issues of Cosmo.
With the holidays fast approaching, I was dismayed to see a package arrive for her a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, she had bought herself some yoga clothes, despite the fact that I have purchased yoga clothes for her on several recent gift-giving occasions.
Since she has become impossible to shop for, I decided to just get her a Chanukkah present which amused me.
For my birthday, Mrs. Cutter bought me this shirt from the Zoo With Roy website. While I’d like to think that the shirt was created in my honor, it is actually a tribute to the signature pitch of Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay:
I thought it would be awesome if I got her a matching shirt. I thought she’d find it at least a little funny. But Mrs. Cutter was not amused.
I told her that I would pick out an event where it would be appropriate to wear matching T-shirts. She agreed that if ever such a time arrived, she would wear it. Somehow I am skeptical.
I’m hoping that she enjoys her Christmas presents a little bit more. But chances are, she’ll just end up buying the things I picked out before then anyway.
By the way, if anyone out there wants their own Cuttered shirt, here’s a link:
I don’t get any money from it, but I’d still feel at least a little honored if you wore one.