Last time… After speaking to Autobot leaders Rodimus Prime and Optimus Prime, the Fear Boger seemed to finally figure out the meaning of Christmas.
Rodiumus Prime: *Sniff* Nobody likes me. They all think I’m a huge joke!
FB: Hey, Rodimus.
RP: Oh, hey, Fear Boger. I wasn’t crying or anything. I was just doing…robot stuff. How’s your quest coming?
FB: Rodimus, I know you were crying. You always cry. Like I said, you’re a whiny bitch.
RP: Did you just come here to insult me?
FB: No, no. Not at all. I’m trying to let you know that you’re not alone.
RP: What are you talking about?
FB: When I started this quest, I was upset because I was always miserable on Christmas. I thought that I was miserable because nobody liked me, and if I could discover the true meaning of Christmas, then maybe I could change that.
But Optimus pointed out that there are a lot of people out there that nobody likes. But that’s no reason why we all have to be miserable.
RP: What are you saying?
FB: I’m saying that sure, you’re awful, and nobody likes you. But so am I! So are a lot of the people I know! So why don’t we go hang out and be miserable together? Because maybe if we’re all miserable together, then it won’t be quite as bad.
RP: That…that sounds okay.
FB: So why don’t you transform and drive us back to my place, so we can get hammered?
RP: (Transforms) Let’s go!
Later that night….
FB: Now isn’t this much better? Yeah, nobody likes us, we’re still miserable, and just like last year, we’re getting drunk. But because we’re doing it together, it seems festive and happy rather than sad and pathetic!
RP: So you’re saying that the meaning of Christmas is that misery loves company?
FB: Honestly, I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m a stupid bobblehead. What do I know about anything? If anyone was reading this and hoping that there would be some sort of important moral…well, they were destined for disappointment from the beginning. But who cares about that? Let’s drink!
Others: Hey, guys! Got any booze for the rest of us?
FB: Sure do! There’s always room for more miserable @$$holes here!
FB: Merry Christmas, everyone! May your day be slightly less miserable than in the past!
I hope you have enjoyed following along with the Fear Boger’s quest to discover the meaning of Christmas. Like the Fear Boger said, I hope you can all find a way to be slightly less miserable than usual this year.
On a related note, if you’re going to be alone on Christmas, and feel like you could use some good conversation, I suggest you stop by the Company for Christmas blog. There will be a great group of bloggers hanging out there ready to talk about anything and everything. I plan to make a few appearances throughout the day, so if you’re lucky, you might even get to talk to me.
And don’t forget to stop back here tomorrow, as I’ll be having my annual (imaginary) interview with pop singer Michael Bublé!