The 2013 Cutter Awards

It’s time to hand out some hardware!  Once again I shall honor those people and things that I thought were standouts in 2013.  Here are the 2013 Cutter Awards!

As people who have read previous years’ Cutter Awards know, I like to start off with a musical performance.  Here is Jon Lajoie performing his new holiday classic, “Merry Christmas Period.”

Now that we’re suitably in the mood, let’s get down to business.

The first award I hand out is typically the Chris Callan Rookie of the Year Award which is given to my new favorite person of the year.

When trying to determine who would win this award, I realized that I didn’t make too many new friends this year.  I got to know and like a few of my new co-workers, but I try to hide the existence of this blog from people I work with.  Perhaps it needs to be a goal of mine to befriend more people in 2014.

After thinking about all the new people I came across this year, one person soon came to mind.  He randomly joined my kickball team, and admittedly, I didn’t like him all that much at first.  There was no real logic behind the dislike, and in typical Cutter fashion, I even explained this to him later on.  (Not surprisingly, he reacted like most people would when being informed that someone didn’t like them.)

I soon realized he had a great deadpan sense of humor, and he was almost like Parks and Recreation’s Ron Swanson come to life.  He used to work at Disney which is all sorts of awesome, and he also showed me his awesome blog that detailed his attempts at restoring a scooter.

So the Chris Callan Award goes to the man who asked to be referred to by the pseudonym of Yensid!  (Which I never realized was Disney spelled backwards.)

Next up, we have the Movie of the Year Award.

There were no movies that I was absolutely blown away by this year.  I think my top two from last year (The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises) would have easily won this year.  Despite no standouts, I still managed to have a few entertaining trips to the old cinema.

Perhaps it is only because out of all the top candidates, it’s the one I saw the most recently, but I’m giving the award to The Hunger Games: Catching Fire.  I thought that the movie was a better sequel to the first movie than the book was to the first book.  Does that make sense?  No?  Oh well.

This brings us to the Song of the Year Award.

As you may know, I’m not a huge fan of most of the music being produced these days.  If Justin Bieber and One Direction are what’s considered “in,” then I’m quite happy being “out.”

But there were a few songs released this year that got my toes tapping.  My favorite came from an artist who I feel can be very hit-or-miss: Eminem.  (Although based on sales, it seems that most of America finds him to be much more hit than miss.)

The song was originally included as part of the latest Call of Duty video game. It’s rather badass, and if I ever follow through on my plans to become a professional wrestler, I could see using it as an entrance theme.  The song is Survival. Why don’t we take a quick break to take a listen? (Warning: Some lyrics are NSFW)

Last month, I had begun to write a review of Eminem’s The Marshall Mathers LP 2, but I never finished it.  I assumed that I’d complete it at some point in December, but that obviously didn’t happen.  Maybe in January?

The next award is the Blogger of the Year award.

In 2013, I made a point to actually read other blogs and interact with other bloggers.  In doing so, I came across some interesting and entertaining writers.  I was originally going to list a few of them, but then I realized that I would have a tough time of paring down my list, and someone deserving would end up being overlooked.

So, I decided to go super-exclusive and honor just one very special blogger.  I went with the blogger whose work I enjoyed reading the most.  The author re-tells hilarious stories from his job as a Niagara Falls bellman, and just about every one of his posts leave me actually laughing out loud.  One day, this man will be producing some sort of reality television show, and it will likely be awesome.  (Or at least better than the hundreds of shows featuring Kardashians.)

The recipient of the Blogger of the Year award is…The Hook of You’ve Been Hooked!

Did I mention that he has published a book that you can buy?  Buy on Amazon!

Did I mention that he has published a book that you can buy? Buy on Amazon!

That brings us to our final award of the day…the Person of the Year award.  (I have many talents, but coming up with clever names for these awards is apparently not one of them.)

I met the winner in 2007 when we randomly crossed paths at a kickball game and I invited him onto my team.  Since then, he’s been a constant presence on my teams, and has proven to be one of the friendliest and reliable people I know.  He’s so friendly that I don’t even try to destroy his self-esteem like I do to so many other people I know.  (Usually.)

Now that I’ve moved out to the deeper suburbs, it’s not always easy hanging out.  Amazingly, unlike many carless people who live in the city, he will actually make a point to visit the outer reaches of the DC metropolitan area.  He’ll even sometimes rent a car in order to do so!

He offered to let friends crash at his place, even though he had a date that night and it might have sabotaged his chances at nookie.  He not only joined my team for the Race for Every Child, but he also contributed money to my fundraising campaign so that I could get over the threshold that would earn me a water bottle!

He may have sealed this award when Mrs. Cutter and I gave him a ride to a wedding, and he brought along donut holes for us to snack on!  (To all my friends who are reading this: If you want to earn this award next year, give me donuts!)

The winner of this year’s award is the man I sometimes refer to as L’Chaim!  He shall be rewarded with a bottle of his favorite soda: Dr Pepper Ten!

A prize worthy of kings! Image source

A prize worthy of kings! Image source

So there you have it.  Congrats to all the winners, and encouragement to all those who didn’t win.  If you put in a little more effort, you might see your randomly created nickname here next year!

We shall conclude with our final musical performance of the ceremony.  Here’s Tom Petty and Guns N’ Roses performing Free Fallin’.  (In case anyone is curious, I didn’t get what I REALLY wanted for Christmas.  Maybe next year.)


About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
This entry was posted in 31 Days of Blogging, Pop Culture, Trips and Events and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The 2013 Cutter Awards

  1. The Hook says:

    Blogger of the year? This is by far the greatest honor I’ve received in all my years as a blogging bellman, Cutter. Thank you, my friend, for your friendship, your loyalty and above all, for being so cool.
    We’ll have to do the 5×5 thing soon. Promise!

  2. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Congratulations to all the winners!

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