The Wallet Cleanse

Yes, I had a Costanza wallet. (Image source)

Yes, I had a Costanza wallet. (Image source)

My wallet had gotten fat. Sadly, this is not a fancy way of saying that I became rich. I am definitely not rich. What happened was that my wallet literally became fat and bloated.

When I make a purchase, I typically stuff the receipt into my wallet. When I swipe my credit card at a restaurant or bar, the customer copy of the bill is also generally wallet-bound. As a result, a few months of using the old MasterCard left my wallet overstuffed to the point that I had to maneuver a few things around just to be able to close it.

The other day, when staring at the bloated monstrosity on my dresser, I knew that this had gone on for too long. It was time to clean out my wallet.

After dumping the contents onto my bed, I was amused by what I found. Many of the receipts had been in my wallet for so long that the printing had worn off.  Now they were just blank pieces of paper serving no purpose in this world.

I sorted through the pile of paper to make sure there wasn’t anything crucial mixed in there, and sure enough, I came across something that I actually needed. Back in December, I had purchased a pair of slippers at Five Below as a gift for Mrs. Cutter. While it isn’t shocking that Mrs. Cutter didn’t like one of my gifts, in her defense, they weren’t the kind that she had actually asked for. Although she loses some sympathy for turning up her nose at the prospect of getting a replacement gift from Five Below.  Apparently, the discount chain’s goods are not quite up to her standards.

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence, but my right foot has been hurting ever since the cleanse. It’s possible that my body had grown accustomed to the extra weight, and I had been favoring that side. (Or I might have injured it running on streets partially covered with snow and ice the other day. Who knows?)

In case you were curious of just how much crap I had stuffed in my wallet, I’ll let you see for yourself:



About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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20 Responses to The Wallet Cleanse

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:

    If you are carrying a standard-sized wallet, then that’s pretty impressive!

  2. djmatticus says:

    I think you can do better… You’ve just to really apply yourself. Focus. And horde those receipts.

  3. Bill Hayes says:

    My partner stuffs all her reciepts into her hand bag; consequently has one arm longer than the other. But she won’t throw the pescy things away. I shall be putting little furniture wheels on the bottom of her bag soon, so she can glide the bag from one point of sale to the next. 🙂

  4. impressive. i think my husband’s back pant pocket actually cries when he sticks his wallet back there.

  5. My purse could stand to have the same treatment!

  6. Trent Lewin says:

    I used to shove the receipts in my pocket, and my wife would call it “pocket paper”. I always hated that. Then into the wallet. I hated that worse, I HATE it when it gets too big and feels like a third ass in your back pocket. I don’t need a third ass. I think I mean cheek there… I think.

  7. I have been stuffing gas receipts in my car’s armrest for as long as I’ve had it. I could go out there now and dig up a receipt that shows gas being sold for under $1 a gallon. I’m dead serious….

  8. MissFourEyes says:

    I have to do this to my handbag once every month. It’s crazy the kinds of things I find in there

  9. Amy says:

    Funny post-Mr. Grafchak has the same problem. Also a helpful post because until now I was planning to stop by Five Below here in the frigid mitten state because I assumed it carried cold weather goods. Thanks for saving me the trip!

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