I consider myself to be an above average writer. When I feel the right inspiration, I can usually write something at least moderately entertaining. But as I’ve learned, being a good writer doesn’t necessarily make me a good blogger.
Since I am the “master of analogies,” I’ll compare myself as a blogger to a neglectful father.
I don’t write every day. There will be lengthy periods of time when I barely acknowledge that the site even exists. Sometimes I’ll make a token effort to stop by and say hello, but it is obvious that my heart isn’t really in it.
Other times when I stop by, I give off the impression that I am a good blogger – or at least that I have the capability to be one. I’ll write something clever, update the site’s design, or interact with other bloggers.
I’ve even gone through long stretches when it really seems like I am making the effort necessary to be a good blogger.
But it doesn’t last. Eventually, I lose interest and wander off again.
This isn’t the worst thing in the world. If I have to choose between neglecting my blog or my children, then the blog is going to get neglected. But it can still be frustrating for me, especially since I made the mistake of surrounding myself with the wrong people.
Back in January, when I was going through one of my high effort phases, I thought it would be fun to form an alliance of fellow bloggers. Together we would conquer the blogging world or something like that.
While the Alliance itself has been a success, it hasn’t necessarily worked out well for me. Because I’ve come to realize that the other members of the Alliance care about their sites more than I care about mine.
When I read their work and see the brilliant things they write for our challenges, I feel mixed emotions. While it’s nice to be in that kind of company, I also become angry because I wish I could care about my site and about writing as much as they do.
Maybe things will change. Maybe one day I’ll receive another burst of inspiration, and this time it will be permanent.
But I wouldn’t bet on it.
This mini-rant was partially inspired by some unfortunate news from one of my fellow Alliance members.
I don’t know Rara personally. I only know her from what she’s chosen to share via her blog and some emails exchanged between us. (Then again, do we ever know anything about anyone except what they choose to share with us?) But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I’ve lost a friend.
She has always been one of my favorite bloggers, and part of the reason is because I felt like she genuinely cared about her writing. When reading her posts, you never got the sense that she didn’t give the post the complete effort and dedication that it required. You could tell that she put her heart and soul into everything she wrote.
Admittedly, while I loved reading her writing, reading her site sometimes brought a sense of disappointment. Because I realized I could never care as much as she did and would therefore never be as good of a blogger as her.
Unfortunately, it seems like I won’t be getting the opportunity to feel that way anymore. And that is truly a shame.
Hopefully everything works out well for her. And although she probably won’t ever read this, hopefully she knows that her fellow bloggers will miss her.