Washing the jersey

Over the years, I’ve managed to become less superstitious when it comes to my sports teams.

While I might not have gone as far as to make eggs Benedict every Sunday, in my younger days, I was convinced – sometimes to the point of paranoia – that if I didn’t follow certain rituals to their exact specifications, I was dooming the Eagles to a sure loss.

Thankfully, I no longer get that hung up on things. Given my current situation, even if I wanted to be superstitious, I don’t really have the time or energy to follow through. These days, I consider myself lucky if I can even watch the game without interruptions.

That said, there are still a few “traditions” which I usually adhere to. For instance, I wear the same jersey while watching the game each week. And once the season begins, I will not wash the jersey except for the Eagles’ bye week.

For those unfamiliar with NFL scheduling policies, the regular season is 17 weeks long, but teams only play 16 games. So for one week out of those 17, each team gets a week off, referred to as a “bye.”

So yes, I will wear the same article of clothing for sixteen out of seventeen weeks while only washing it once during that time.

Midnight green is very effective at hiding stains! (Image source)

Midnight green is very effective at hiding stains! (Image source)

In my defense, I always wear a T-shirt of some sort underneath to help prevent it from getting sweaty. And the dark green color of the jersey is very good at masking stains!

Unfortunately, I’ve had to make an exception to my “no washing” rule this season.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve re-learned that babies often spit up while feeding them. The Cutlass has proven to be an especially prolific spitter. During her feedings, it’s a pretty safe bet that at least some of her milk is going to be rejected.

I can anticipate the deluge to some extent and try to position a burp cloth to absorb the barrage. But some of the mess often evades the burp cloth, especially because she’s learned a new “trick:” She likes to turn her head to the side immediately before spitting up.

Given the healthy collection of stains that our clothes have acquired, Mrs. Cutter and I will probably both require a brand new wardrobe before the year is over.

Last week, the Eagles played the Packers, and it wasn’t clear which was worse: The performance of the Eagles, or the Cutlass’ disposition. As I was trying to watch the Eagles get shellacked, the Cutlass was busy screaming her head off, apparently due to some sort of stomach discomfort.

In the second half, she capped off the miserable afternoon by drenching the front of my jersey with the contents of her stomach.

We may need a new washing machine before long. (Image source)

We may need a new washing machine before long. (Image source)

I may not like washing my jersey during the season, but given a choice between that and smelling like sour milk every Sunday, the washing machine won out.

And while this past Sunday went better for both the Eagles and the Cutlass, she still managed to nail me a couple of times. So it looks like the jersey is headed into the wash once again.

There’s just one slight complication: The Eagles play on Thanksgiving. While that’s awesome and all, it doesn’t leave me with much time to do another load of laundry!

You may not think that doing a load of laundry is an especially time-consuming process, but with twin babies around, it can sometimes be tough to complete even the simplest of tasks.

At least after Thanksgiving, I’ll have a whole ten days before the Eagles play again. So I’ll have plenty of time to wash the jersey again if necessary.

Based on past Thanksgiving meals, it will probably be very necessary for me to wash the jersey again, but hat has little to do with my children. Getting all that delicious food down my throat isn’t always easy, you know.

Regardless of what clothing you choose to wear (unless it’s a Cowboys jersey. In that case, I hope you spill a ton of food), I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving!


About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
This entry was posted in Sports, Twins and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Washing the jersey

  1. Mine is a Chargers jersey with Flutie’s name on the back. It’s a dinosaur, I know, but it’s my favorite!!

  2. Heck, some of my regular articles of clothing might only get washed once in a 17 week span. I’m not superstitious, I’m just a slob….

  3. Pingback: A few Thanksgiving leftovers | The Cutter Rambles

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