For years, mankind has made an attempt to determine the greatest song ever made.
It seems like humanity will not be able to rest until we can come up with some sort of consensus regarding how every song ranks relative to each other. For instance, I believe that every music-covering periodical worth its staples has tried to compile a list of the greatest songs ever at some point.
Of course, these lists seldom accomplish much except create debate (which was probably the whole point in the first place).
Well I can now say with a great deal of certainty that all of those lists were wrong. (Gasp!)
Earlier this year, I came across a super-secret, super-special formula that has allowed me to definitively rank every pop song ever released in America.
While I’m not at liberty to reveal the formula (it’s super secret and all!) I will reveal which songs made the list, and I’ll attempt to both justify the placement and provide some personal reflection.
Oh, and to make it more fun, I’m going to reveal the top ten songs out of order!
#4: I Want You Back – Jackson 5
Why the ranking is justified
You mean those outfits and dance moves aren’t enough?
Seriously, what the hell are they wearing in that video? These outfits are ridiculous even for the early 70’s. I can’t imagine that there has ever been a time or a place on Earth when anyone would have considered this to be fashionable?
Moving past the outfits, it was the first major single released by the Jackson 5. Which means it pretty much launched the career of Michael Jackson, one of the most prolifically successful artists of all time.
Personal reflection on the song
I’ll be honest with you: When I was younger I thought the name of this song was “One More Chance.” (In my defense, it wasn’t like I could just look crap like that up on the internet back then.)
I always thought it was weird when the Jacksons performed this song as adults. The song was written and originally sung when they were essentially kids. Yet, they continued to sing it as adults – and it still sounded good!
Maybe there is some truth to those rumors that Michael was chemically castrated.
What do you think? Does “I Want You Back” deserve its lofty ranking? Or did my formula (and keep in mind, it’s infallable!) miss the mark on this one?