The 4th Annual Christmas Day Interview with Michael Bublé

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone is having a fine holiday. Even if you’re not, I have a feeling that things are about to pick up. Because for the fourth straight year, I have a special guest star.

With no further adieu, I’ll introduce everyone’s favorite pop singer: Michael Bublé!

michael-bubleMB: Hey, Cutter! Can’t believe it’s been a full year since last time we did this.

Cutter: For no man does time wait, right? What’s new with you this year?

MB: Oh, same old. Just busy counting my money from another successful Christmas TV special.

Cutter: It went well?

MB: You didn’t watch it?

Cutter: I was actually thinking about tuning in, but then, you know, twins.

MB: Oh come on. You couldn’t find a way to make time for THE Christmas event of the year?

Cutter: Well, I watched Peter Pan Live. Besides, have a couple more kids, and we’ll see how much free time you have.

MB: That’s funny! I’m rich, remember? I don’t need to actually take care of my kids.

Cutter: Yeah. That must be nice. Speaking of kids, I saw that video you did with Idina Menzel.

MB: Pretty cute, huh?

Cutter: I suppose, but I just have one question: If you wanted to make a music video featuring children, why you’d choose the rapiest Christmas song there is?

MB: You’ll notice we changed some of the lyrics.

Cutter: It’s still a little creepy.

MB: Well maybe you should take it up with my special guest.

Cutter: Special guest?

MB: That’s right. I brought along a special guest this year.

Cutter: Wait, what? I didn’t approve any –

MB: Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Idina Menzel!

Cutter: WHAT?

Idina Menzel: Her royal highness, Queen Elsa of Arrandale hath arrived!

Cutter: Wow! This is quite a surprise. It’s an honor to have you here. My daughter is a huge fan of yours.

IM: Of course she is. All girls are fans of Queen Elsa for I am talented and gracious. And to show how much I love my subjects, I shall perform a song for you!

MB: Hey now, Idina. I told you –

MB: Ugh, I am SO sick of hearing that song.

Cutter: You don’t have to tell me. I’ve got a four year old daughter.

MB: And Idina, we had agreed-

IM: Call me Elsa.

MB: Sigh…are we really doing this?

IM: I thought I made that clear. I shall only be addressed as Elsa, or “your highness.”

Cutter: Is she serious?

MB: I’m afraid so.

IM: Silence! Or else I shall freeze you with my ice powers!

Cutter: Ooookay. Fame gone to her head a little?

MB: Like you wouldn’t believe. My manager said it would be good for my image if we went on a publicity tour together. Little did I know that she was “at-bay it-shay azy-cray.”

Cutter: You guys aren’t doing it, are you?

MB: Um, no. Apparently she takes the whole “ice queen” thing REALLY seriously, if you know what I mean.

Cutter: Hey! Speaking of that, I did another one of those “Would you?” posts. You guys want to give your take?

MB: Sure. We can do anything as long as it doesn’t involve me listening to “Let it Go” again.

IM: Queen Elsa approves of this exercise.

Cutter: Nicki Minaj

MB: (Sigh)  Did her.

IM: I as well.

Cutter: Wait, what? You – never mind, I’m not going to ask. Let’s move on. Iggy Azalea.

MB: Who?

IM: Queen Elsa knows not of who you speak.

Cutter: Here’s a picture.

MB: Oh! Yeah, I know her! She was on my Christmas special!

Cutter: No…that was Miss Piggy. Iggy Azalea sings “Fancy.”

MB: I have no idea what you’re talking about. But no.

IM: Queen Elsa also says no.

Cutter: Kristen Schaal.

MB: Once again, I’ve never heard of her.

IM: Nor have I.

Cutter: Here’s a picture.

MB: Oh! Heck no! Who the hell is she?

Cutter: She’s a comedienne. Very funny.

MB: She’d better be. No!

IM: I’d do her.

MB: Really?

IM: Queen Elsa likes to slum sometimes.

Cutter: Zooey Deschanel

MB: Yes, although from what I’ve heard, she’s just as nuts as Elsa over here.

IM: Elsa is not nuts! But I would do Zooey. I find her to be quite comely.

Cutter: Kim Kardashian.

MB: No. I’ve talked to Kanye, and he’s told me things I can’t unhear.

IM: NO! Do you know how annoying it is that she’s more famous than me? She can burn in hell.

Cutter: So it bothers you that millions of girls love your song but wouldn’t be able to pick you out of a lineup?

IM: But soon they shall! Soon all the people in the world shall love and admire the almighty Queen Elsa! Or else I will cast eternal winter over all the land! And then, they will have no choice but to bow at my feet.

Cutter: This doesn’t have anything to do with the whole John Travolta thing, does it?

John Travolta better watch out. (Image source)

John Travolta better watch out. (Image source)

IM: You mean the way he botched my name in front of millions of viewers.

Cutter: Yeah. It seems like you might be a little bitter about-

IM: I WILL DESTROY JOHN TRAVOLTA! FIRST I SHALL FREEZE HIS FAT BODY AND THEN I SHALL DESTROY HIS VERY SOUL!!!

MB: Told ya she was nuts.

Cutter: On that note, I think it’s time we go. Special thanks to Michael Bublé and Idina Me-

IM: QUEEN ELSA!!!

Cutter: …and Queen Elsa for joining me. See you next year, Michael?

MB: Probably. And I certainly hope I’m alone.

Cutter: I think we all hope that. Merry Christmas, everybody!

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About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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4 Responses to The 4th Annual Christmas Day Interview with Michael Bublé

  1. Pingback: A Belated Look Back at my Year in Blogging | The Cutter Rambles

  2. Pingback: Super Bowl XLIX Preview – with Special Guest Star Idina Menzel! | The Cutter Rambles

  3. Pingback: ‘Tis the Season | The Cutter Rambles

  4. Pingback: The Fifth Annual Michael Bublé Christmas Interview | The Cutter Rambles

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