Now that the controversy over the Patriots’ balls is starting to die down, we can finally look ahead to Sunday’s big game. Unfortunately, most people have realized that they aren’t particularly fond of either team playing in the game.
First off, both teams have had too much recent success. The Seahawks just won last year! Haven’t they met their quota for a while? And I think we’re all pretty sick of seeing teams from Boston succeed.
Not to mention that both teams have sometimes been accused of not exactly handling their business completely legally.
DID SOMEBODY SAY SUPER BOWL?
What the heck?
I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU COULD POSSIBLY TALK ABOUT THE SUPER BOWL WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT WHO IS SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!
Oh, no! Not again!
ALL HAIL QUEEN ELSA – THE GREATEST ANTHEM SINGER THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN!!!
Sigh…it looks like I’m once again being paid a visit by Idina Menzel.
Idina Menzel: Hello, Cutter! Queen Elsa has returned to your humble blog.
Cutter: It’s so lovely to see you, Idina.
Cutter: (Shakes head)……It’s lovely to see you, Queen Elsa.
IM: Of course it is. How many other blogs have had the honor of having the queen of Arendelle stop by?
Cutter: I’m guessing several hundred?
IM: And each one of them is truly blessed!
Cutter: So…why are you here?
IM: Why to discuss the Super Bowl, of course! Isn’t that what everyone is talking about these days?
Cutter: Yes, I was discussing the Super Bo-
IM: But I’m sure that what everyone is REALLY looking forward to is the national anthem!
Cutter: Admittedly, my daughter is kind of excited about it. Then again, she’s even more excited about Katy Perry singing at halftime.
IM: Katy Perry? A fine enough singer I suppose, but is she royalty? I think not. Besides, her “half time” show shall surely be overshadowed by my marvelous performance. Why it wouldn’t surprise me if the game itself is overshadowed by me.
Cutter: Uh, sure. So while you’re here, do you have any thoughts on the game itself.
IM: Yes. Since I was invited to perform at your country’s most important event, I decided to learn a little more about this game.
At first, I was not a fan of the Patriots, for their…what do you Americans call him..quarterback –
Cutter: You’re American! Stop acting like you don’t know what a god damn quarterback is!
IM: Oh, silly Cutter. In Arendelle, we didn’t have such silly games. As I was saying, that Tom Brady reminds me just a bit too much of Price Hans of the Seven Isles.
Cutter: Bridget Moynahan probably feels the same way.
IM: But then I saw that the Patriots are coached by my old friend Grand Pabbie. I’m sure that Grand Pabbie will be able to lead his team to victory…much like he once helped me control my ice powers.
Cutter: Um, that’s actually Bill Belichick.
IM: You don’t say. Well in that case, perhaps I shall choose the Seagulls to emerge victorious.
Cutter: It’s the Seahawks! You know damn well that it’s the Seahawks! Are you pretending to be foreign or mentally handicapped?
IM: I’m not pretending to be anything.
Cutter: Sadly, I think you’re right.
IM: Perhaps to make Sunday’s game more interesting, I will make it snow! Wouldn’t it be fun if the players got to run around in snow?
Cutter: Um, the game is being played in Arizona…and indoors.
IM: Those are but minor obstacles for my ice powers!
Cutter: Still, it’s not a good idea for you to….Wait, why am I actually worried about this?
IM: Don’t worry. I wouldn’t want to ruin an event that is of such importance to your people.
Cutter: Jesus, lady. You’re going to come out wearing an Elsa dress, aren’t you?
IM: What a silly question! What else would Elsa wear besides her signature dress?
Cutter: You know, I’m starting to think that this link is full of crap.
Anyway, I gotta go. Before I end this, do you have a prediction for the game?
IM: The Seagulls-
IM: – shall win the game 23-20!
Cutter: So if any of you were holding off on making bets because you wanted to hear what an insane woman thought, you can feel free to call your bookie now!
Before we go, do you have anything else you’d like to add, Elsa?
IM: Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back-
Cutter: NO! STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP SINGING THAT!
Sigh…Enjoy the game, people!