The 2015 Cutter Awards

The year is ending on a strange note. On a day when one of my dreams appears to be coming true, another dream has never seemed further away.

2016 is shaping up to be quite an interesting year, but there will be plenty of time to look forward in the coming days. Now, it’s time to look back at the year that was.

It’s time once again to pay tribute to the best and brightest that 2015 had to offer. Please join me as I hand out the 2015 Cutter Awards!

I like to kick these things off with a musical number, and based on the aforementioned big news, it seems like there’s only one band I could possibly use for those honors. (Sorry, Evil Squirrel!)

Chris Callan Rookie of the Year Award

The Callan Award is annually given to my new favorite person who I meet each year. Like most Callan Award winners, I first met this person the year prior, but didn’t get to know him very well until this year.

He started working at my company in late 2014. I soon learned that due to a similar sense of humor (he enjoys Family Guy clips) and sports fandom (sadly, his rooting interests lie with the Pittsburgh teams), we had quite a bit in common. He also apparently has good taste in names, as we gave our sons the same first name. (In case you were curious, my son’s name is not actually Cutter Junior.)

I was going to give him the nickname “Farva” due to a slight resemblance to the “Super Troopers” character, but I’ll instead make a reference to his hairstyle. Congratulations to “Flattop!”

As far as I know, he has never actually read this blog, so I’ll have to forward him a link. I’m sure it will make his day.

Song of the Year

I fully admit that I am out of touch with the music scene. Looking at various “Best of 2015” music lists, I don’t recognize most of the songs by name. When I listen to most of them, my first reaction is, “Oh, I know that song. I HATE that song!”

I’ve also noticed that Justin Bieber had a few hit songs this year. Are we at the point where the guy is actually a respected artist? Am I now lame for not being able to name a single one of his songs besides “Baby.” (And it’s possible I only know that one because the Cutlet has a dog that “sings” it.)

It’s telling that the only popular songs I really enjoyed were “I Wanna Get Better” by the Bleachers, and “Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon, and those were both released in 2014.

The only new songs I really enjoyed came off of a mash-up album, and it doesn’t seem right to give a “Cutty” to a “fake” song. Therefore, I’m declaring myself to be too lame to give out this award any more.

Just so you don’t feel deprived, here’s the aforementioned “I Wanna Get Better:”

Blogger of the Year

Two years ago, I created a new award to honor the fellow blogger who I felt produced the best content throughout the year. Both former recipients of this award had solid years in 2015, and either one could have easily taken it home again. However, another man managed to barely edge them for the prestigious Cutty.

Sometimes I wish that this year’s award winner would actually be LESS prolific. He writes so much that it can be difficult to keep up with at times. It would be one thing if some of his posts were filler and easily skippable, but almost everything he writes has some substance.

Congratulations to Austin aka The Modern Philosopher! If you’ve never read his work before, I strongly suggest you head over and check it out.

Movie of the Year

My days of making it out to the movie theater are mostly in the past. These days, I’ve got to REALLY want to see a movie if I make the effort to leave the house. Obviously the first new Star Wars sequel in over 30 years fits that criteria.

I know I wrote an entire post pointing out flaws with it, but ultimately I did really enjoy Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It was fun, nostalgic (without being overly dependent on it), and a worthy continuation of the Star Wars saga.

For anyone who can’t get enough Star Wars, here’s a video in which others ask questions about the movie:

Person of the Year

In 1982 and 1983, Cal Ripken, Jr. had a stellar start to his career when he won the American League’s Rookie of the Year and MVP awards in back-to-back seasons. Perhaps most impressive about this feat is that it hasn’t been duplicated since.

At least it hasn’t been duplicated in baseball; the Cutter Awards are a different story. The 2014 Rookie of the Year winner has upped his game a level in 2015 and earned the ever-so-prestigious Person of the Year award.

After we stopped working together, it seemed likely that Smokescreen would soon fade into obscurity. I’m not super great about keeping in touch with people, and older friends tend to be mostly forgotten as soon as I move to the next stage of my life. (Hello to any college friends who might be reading this!)

For some reason, I’ve managed to keep in contact with Smokescreen. Perhaps I’m just amused by his troubles dealing with contractors, or his constant hating on the town of Gaithersburg. Whatever the reason, he receives the Cutter Award, and perhaps I’ll even treat him to lunch the next time I see him. (No promises though!)

That’s all for the 2015 Cutter Awards! Thanks for reading, and before I go, here is one final musical number. Please enjoy AC/DC as they perform Thunderstruck!

Make sure to come back tomorrow as I wrap up the 31 Days of Blogging with a sure-to-be-underwhelming post!


About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
This entry was posted in 31 Days of Blogging, Pop Culture, Trips and Events and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to The 2015 Cutter Awards

  1. goldfish says:

    That’s one more Bieber song than I can name.

  2. The Hook says:

    I don’t mind losing to Austin, truth be told.
    He’s a helluva writer and human being.
    Thanks for the recognition and support, buddy.

  3. Austin says:

    Wow! I am touched, surprised, and thrilled! Thank you so much for this. It was totally unexpected and I’m taken aback. I appreciate the kind words and support. Happy New Year!

  4. One of my Mecca classics wins song of the year, ending on Thunderstruck, and some early GnR before they became truly awful! This is almost the best awards show ever!!!

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