Making the Bed

What’s the secret to a successful marriage? I think it’s keeping things fresh by finding new ways to mess with your wife’s head! What’s my latest way to drive her a bit insane? Making the bed.

I’ve never been what you would call a bed making type of guy. My general philosophy is: It’s just going to get messed up again, so why bother? After all, nobody but members of our family will see it, so who am I trying to impress with a made bed?

Come to think of it, has anyone ever been impressed by a made bed? Have you ever walked into someone’s bedroom and thought, “Wow, they really did a good job making that bed! They must be better than us!”

On a whim, one morning I decided to make our bed. Naturally, Mrs. Cutter was a bit confused by this. I think her first instinct was that the au pair must have done it.

I wish I had a way to capture he incredulous tone she used when she asked me if I was the one who had made it. When she asked why I had done so, I merely shrugged and said, “Sometimes it’s nice to have a nicely made bed.”

Only a truly sick mind would do such a thing

Only a truly sick mind would do such a thing

Naturally, her next reaction was to ask if I was having an affair. I’m not sure how that would work. Was I making the bed to cover up the evidence that it had been used? Wouldn’t doing something out of the ordinary just draw additional suspicion?

I assured her that I was not having an affair, that I simply wanted to try something new. When I made it again the next day, it really freaked her out. “Why are you doing this????”

Since I don’t often have extra time in the morning (and because I’m lazy), the bed making didn’t become a regular habit. But every so often – like today – the twins will sleep late and I’ll have a few extra minutes in which to make the bed. And then I get to bask in the paranoid glances from my wife as she tries to figure out what is going on.

Like I said, sometimes you have to keep things fresh!


About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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10 Responses to Making the Bed

  1. I’m slightly obsessive about making my bed in the morning. But it really is just pulling up a duvet cover so there is that.

  2. List of X says:

    Just to be safe, you probably shouldn’t start cooking, because soon enough you might find that there’s a private investigator following your every step.

  3. Who gets the tiger; who gets the bear?

  4. That is stooping to drastic measures to play a mind game. I completely share your bedmaking philosophy… the only time I bother making it is when I put the sheets back on the bed after washing them. I tend to dislike the tightly made beds of hotel rooms… they make me feel uncomfortable…

  5. Anthony says:

    I like this way of messing with someone’s head. When they are wondering why you are doing something good, it’s like doing something bad.
    This is different to me. I do bad things like change the type of coffee creamer, or “reorganize” the shoe closet.

  6. Pingback: Talking ‘Bout My Demographic | The Cutter Rambles

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