Mama Cooked a Breakfast with No Hog

The twins slept late yesterday morning. That should have made it a good morning, but apparently, the lack of toddlers demanding my attention caused me to get lazy and sloppy. Mistakes were made. Oh my, how mistakes were made.

The Cutlet was planning on buying her lunch yesterday, so I didn’t even have to worry about packing something for her. But even on the days when she buys, I still need to include a snack, complete with a napkin note. (I started drawing things on her napkins on the first day of school, not entirely realizing that I’d have to do so EVERY day of school.)

Still, snacks are easy enough. I threw some cucumbers and carrots into a container, added a pack of fruit snacks, drew a picture of Woody Woodpecker, and the snack was complete. The only thing I forgot was to actually place the snack bag into her backpack.


Behold my amazing art skills

Oops. Fortunately, her teacher has a backup snack in the classroom, so it wasn’t a complete disaster.

That should have been a sign that I wasn’t working at optimal efficiency. Considering that the twins were still asleep when the au pair’s shift began, you can excuse me for thinking I was in the clear. When the Cutlass finally woke, the au pair took her into the basement while I got dressed and ready for work. Cujo was somehow still asleep, so I said I’d keep an ear out for him.

I usually don’t get dressed for work until the last minute, because the closer I am to being ready to leave, the more likely it is that one of the children will either spill something on me, or find a way to rub some sort of biological substance on my clothes.

As I was dressing, I heard Cujo was awake, so I figured I would get him out of his crib. As I picked him up, I quickly realized my mistake. Apparently, the lengthy slumber had given him plenty of time to evacuate his bladder and bowels, as he was soaked through his pajamas. And because I was holding him against my body, my shirt was now wet.

I thought that it wasn’t a complete loss, but no; a whiff of my shirt revealed that it smelled like poop. Fortunately, according to my personal dress code, Thursdays are “T-shirt Thursdays,” so it wasn’t too much trouble to change.

Meanwhile, Cujo still had to be cleaned up. I wiped him up as best I could and being in somewhat of a hurry at this point, I dressed him in a T-shirt and pants. That was my third – and most costly mistake.

A few weeks ago, the au pair walked in to the twins’ room after they woke up from their nap and found Cujo completely naked. He had managed to take off all of his clothes and his diaper. Fortunately, the diaper did not contain poop that day.

I’m sure most of you can see where this story is headed, and if you want to stop reading at this point, I don’t blame you. If you don’t want to continue, may I suggest you check out this post from April which you may have missed?

Since that day, we’ve made sure that when he is put in his crib, he is wearing something that can be secured with snaps. He either needs to wear “footie” pajamas, or have a onesie underneath his clothes. It seems that he had been patiently waiting for this opportunity to have access to his diaper. And this time, his diaper was not clean.

I assure you, his crib did not look as clean as this one. (Image source)

I assure you, his crib did not look as clean as this one. (Image source)

The au pair spent much of the afternoon cleaning up his crib until Mrs. Cutter came home early with a bottle of wine and sent her away with a hearty apology. Thankfully, she reported for work this morning and was able to laugh about it.

The twins were up at their normal time this morning, so life was back to normal. I made sure that the Cutlet’s snack and lunch were put in her backpack, and Cujo’s clothes have been securely snapped shut. Mistakes may very well be made as the day goes on, but I feel confident that at least we made it through the morning unscathed.


About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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