Mike Pence: Because We Really Want White Men to Vote for Trump

Last week, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump announced that his running mate would be Indiana governor Mike Pence. This was clearly a bid to win the affection of hardcore right-wing Republicans, as Pence is basically a stereotype of an ultra-conservative politician come to life.

Upon learning about Pence, a scene from the movie Rocky Balboa came to mind:

I imagine that when trying to decide on a vice presidential candidate, Trump’s campaign manager made a similar speech:

“To beat this guy, you’ll need the Latinos. But you’ve said some racist things, and they hate you. And your misogynistic history means the women aren’t going to support you, so you’ve lost their vote. The gays? The Muslims? The blacks? They’re all out too.

“So what we’ll be calling on is good old blunt force white male power. We’re going to get the most conservative vice presidential candidate we can find, and make absolutely sure every white Christian male above the age of 40 is firmly in our camp. Every move we make is going to be based around getting white men to cast their vote for Trump.

“Yeah! Let’s start rallying the white people!”

TrumpPence

“Oh, and for some reason, we’re going to design your campaign poster so it looks like a T is f***ing a P.”

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About The Cutter

I am the Cutter. I write some stuff. You might like it, you might not. Please decide for yourself.
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8 Responses to Mike Pence: Because We Really Want White Men to Vote for Trump

  1. List of X says:

    Regarding your last point, there are already gif-animated versions of Trump / Pence available online, so that all doubt is removed.

  2. Kate says:

    Funny post. This seems like the worst political year ever.

  3. Do conservative white Christian males over the age of 40 even live in blue states? If not, this ain’t exactly gonna work (if that’s actually the TP plan anyway)…

    • The Cutter says:

      Maybe I’m just optimistic, but that’s why I don’t think Trump can win. His antics cause those who love him to love him even more, but I don’t know if they’re adding any new voters.

      So unless people can vote twice (and don’t rule out the GOP trying to make this happen), I’m not sure he has the support.

  4. Squinty says:

    Is Mike Pence even cool any more?

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