Two days after the twins were born, I found a semi-private area in the hospital and took a few minutes to mourn my former life. I said farewell to my leisurely evenings of watching TV on the couch, as I knew they were now a thing of the past. Instead, my time would be spent feeding babies, changing diapers, washing breast pump parts, and attempting to get in a few moments of sleep.
I was correct to believe that my life had been permanently altered. But what I’ve come to realize is that even if I hadn’t been blessed with two new children, my life would still have changed.
I typically don’t embrace change, but it’s become clear that my feelings on the subject are inconsequential. Change happen to all of us; even if we try to maintain the status quo in our lives, we can’t stop the world from changing around us.
I recall the summer of 2009, and how different my life was. My free time was spent drinking, playing kickball, and participating in other such activities. There are times when I feel slightly wistful for those days, but it’s not like I could go back to that life even if I wanted to. Most of my friends from those days have either similarly started families or found other ways to occupy their time. Just as I have moved on, so too has the world.
It feels that change comes more frequently than ever these days. The Cutlet will be entering first grade in the Fall, the twins have begun preschool, and in another week, we’ll be getting a new au pair. (The first one went and found herself a husband.)
I don’t know if I’ll ever love change. But considering that change seems to be the one constant in my life, my hope is that I can at least learn to accept it.